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I am losing my mind... (Please help a fellow out)
11-17-2011, 03:03 PM,
#1
I am losing my mind... (Please help a fellow out)
I have recently posted this on another forum, didn't get any help... This is the only place that I believe can actually help me out. Please hear me out...

I am currently 25 years old.

Started losing hair when I was 18, so the doctor recommended me to start on Rogaine and Propecia right away.....and so I did.

My previous relationship ended with a heart break for me. Wanna guess why she didn't want to be with me anymore...? I'm sure you guys know.

And I know, everyone will say "she was not for you, it's better that she's not in your life anymore"...and I agree, but moving on...

I would go to work hating the way I looked. Always questioning why I was balding so fast and so young. It affected my social life, my work performance, my family... It definitely didn't make me a better person, not to mention the side effects from Propecia at such a young age.

I am 22 years old at this point. Been taking Propecia & applying Rogaine foam for 4 years now. So in desperation of no results, I ended up getting a transplant of 2000 grafts at the early age of 22. The surgeon told me to continue using Rogaine and keep taking Propecia...So I did.

About one year passes by (23 years old now), and I'm pretty happy. The results were decent, but at least I didn't look 40 years old anymore....but, the side effects of Propecia really started to hit me. So I stopped taking it for good.

Next year rolls around and my hair is at its worst. I have never been this depressed in my life. Having stopped Rogaine and Propecia, I looked like a freak....so I went the concealer route. For over a year now, I have been using concealer sprays and powders (all kinds) to cover my baldness. For 95% of my friends and family, they believe the surgery had worked, but some realized I was using some type of concealer. I wasn't pleased with how I looked. My hair kept balding and receding making the concealers almost not useful.

Here I am, now my entire front hairline is almost gone, I am on my last string! I have a huge scar on the back of my donor area due to surgery, and I look even worst completely shaved or with a hat... I am scared to death to get a hairpiece....and I don't even know why I didn't do this earlier.... I stopped going out, stopped caring for myself... It definitely hasn't made me a better person in life.

I work 6 days a week and every time I go to the nearest salon after work, they are closed. Buying and applying a hair piece on my own is not something I want to start out with. I want a professional to do this for me for the first couple times. Eventually when I understand how to do it, I'll do it myself. My fear in all of this is people finding out. The salon I am talking about is http://actualimagehairreplacement.com/

I live near Glendale/Burbank/Los Angeles... so if anyone knows a hair replacement center/salon that's reasonable in price and good undetectable quality, please help me out here...

Sorry for the very depressing topic here. I appreciate those who have read this and would also like some feedback on how to proceed. Also, please don't say "it's not that bad" or "move on with your life." I have been judged and turned down far too many times because of my situation. I am really missing the confidence and fire I used to have. I want to become a better person and not have to worry why people 10 or 20 years older than me look much younger than me. Please help me bring my youth back, we only live once.

Thanks in advance.
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11-17-2011, 03:40 PM,
#2
RE: I am losing my mind... (Please help a fellow out)
Son, first, you have my sympathy and empathy. I've been there. My hair was only slightly receding in the temples when I was your age, but it bugged the hell out of me, so I can only imagine what you're going through.

Okay, that out of the way, you've come to the right place. This hairwearing game is an outstanding solution to your problem and, if done yourself, a highly affordable solution. What I'm going to suggest right now is that you stop and clear your head. Right now it's probably spinning and you're thinking that wearing is some big, elaborate process. It's not. All you're doing is taking a piece of fabric with hair tied in it, sticking it on your head with some combination of glue and tape, and then getting the danged thing cut. After that, it's just a repeat process of taking it off every few days and reattaching it.

The foregoing said, I do recommend going to a salon the first time. Why? Because you're probably going to have to shave some of your existing hair and you want to walk out with something in its place. Once that's been taken care of, you can then make a template and send it in to Toplace or some other supplier. Once the new piece arrives, trim the area where the hairpiece is going, stick the sucker on your head, and go to a barber or stylist to get the thing cut in. Shop around before you commit to a salon, and don't go to some "club" that will try to sell you some $1500 or more hairpiece with a service contract. I got gouged for a sum much larger than that when I started several years ago. Find somebody who will sell you that first unit, cut it in, and give you some supplies. They exist. You might want to get in touch with Debbie at Split Ends. She's a stylist and a provider of supplies (tape, glue, etc.) that we all trust, and she may be able to guide you to someone in your area to get you started. Here's a link to Debbie's website (I'm sure there's a number or email address on there, somewhere) http://www.splitendshairreplacement.com/ Frankly, you might find it cheaper in the long run to fly out to Debbie and let her hook you up the first time rather than go into one of the clubs. I kid you not, they'll get your head spinning again and they will rob you blind. And they'll tell you that it's really, really difficult to try to do this on your own. They're lying. That's how they make their money and charge you 10 times what the product and service is worth. Don't fall for it.

You're clearly ready to do this. So do it. Now. You've been through enough. Go, boy, Go!!!!!!!! You can get your confidence back in one day.

Best wishes, man.
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11-17-2011, 03:43 PM,
#3
RE: I am losing my mind... (Please help a fellow out)
Hey 24hours,

What I would do if I were you is to make a list of all of the hair replacement salons in your area and set up an appointment. If they can show you a high quality product and give you a reasonable price, go for it. Make sure they itemize the hair, bonding, and cut-in service. Ask for a sample of the type of base they will be using. You can always transition to DIY down the road once you see what it is all about.

I know you aren't wanting to go the do-it-yourself route, but if a salon is going to charge you more than a few hundred dollars for a hairpiece you might want to order a custom unit from Toplace and have the salon get you squared away with the bond and cut-in once you have the hair. When you talk to the salons ask them if they would be willing to do a cut-in if you already have the hair. If they were going to charge you $1000 for the hair and you can get it for $200 online you will still come out ahead even if they charge more for the cut-in.

Of course it does complicate things a bit when you buy your hair from one place and get it serviced from somewhere else, but at least if you order from John you will know what you are getting product wise. You wouldn't want to get stuck with a unit made with thick, outdated base material, and from what I understand some salons aren't exactly keeping up with the times.

Bottom line- you can save yourself a lot of money ordering online and going the DIY route. I understand you wanting to get some help in the beginning, just make sure you do your homework and ask lots of questions before you agree to anything.

And keep in mind, if you have any questions once you get started there are always some knowledgeable folks here on the forum, so don't hesitate to ask.
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11-17-2011, 04:40 PM,
#4
RE: I am losing my mind... (Please help a fellow out)
(11-17-2011, 03:40 PM)needmorehair Wrote: Son, first, you have my sympathy and empathy. I've been there. My hair was only slightly receding in the temples when I was your age, but it bugged the hell out of me, so I can only imagine what you're going through.

Okay, that out of the way, you've come to the right place. This hairwearing game is an outstanding solution to your problem and, if done yourself, a highly affordable solution. What I'm going to suggest right now is that you stop and clear your head. Right now it's probably spinning and you're thinking that wearing is some big, elaborate process. It's not. All you're doing is taking a piece of fabric with hair tied in it, sticking it on your head with some combination of glue and tape, and then getting the danged thing cut. After that, it's just a repeat process of taking it off every few days and reattaching it.

I can't even begin to tell you how much more comfortable this makes me feel. Thanks for the wonderful advice.

My biggest fear is people knowing its a piece or somehow finding out...

Quote:The foregoing said, I do recommend going to a salon the first time. Why? Because you're probably going to have to shave some of your existing hair and you want to walk out with something in its place. Once that's been taken care of, you can then make a template and send it in to Toplace or some other supplier. Once the new piece arrives, trim the area where the hairpiece is going, stick the sucker on your head, and go to a barber or stylist to get the thing cut in. Shop around before you commit to a salon, and don't go to some "club" that will try to sell you some $1500 or more hairpiece with a service contract. I got gouged for a sum much larger than that when I started several years ago. Find somebody who will sell you that first unit, cut it in, and give you some supplies. They exist. You might want to get in touch with Debbie at Split Ends. She's a stylist and a provider of supplies (tape, glue, etc.) that we all trust, and she may be able to guide you to someone in your area to get you started. Here's a link to Debbie's website (I'm sure there's a number or email address on there, somewhere) http://www.splitendshairreplacement.com/ Frankly, you might find it cheaper in the long run to fly out to Debbie and let her hook you up the first time rather than go into one of the clubs. I kid you not, they'll get your head spinning again and they will rob you blind. And they'll tell you that it's really, really difficult to try to do this on your own. They're lying. That's how they make their money and charge you 10 times what the product and service is worth. Don't fall for it.

I definitely have done some research. The salon I linked above has a "thin-skin" stock unit that gets cut to fit my balding area. (Isn't that what a custom piece basically is?)

The piece looks and feels undetectable, and I definitely want to start out here, but I work so damn much to the point where every time I want to make an appointment, they're closed. The piece costs $450 and gets cut in and maintained for free. So it's much better than any of those "clubs" out there. However, I am still much more comfortable getting a SFS Lace piece from John. I can see myself buying from here for the next 15-20 years...but I need a helping hand to get myself started.

Quote:You're clearly ready to do this. So do it. Now. You've been through enough. Go, boy, Go!!!!!!!! You can get your confidence back in one day.

Best wishes, man.

Thank you so much for taking the time to help, means a lot to me. One question I also have is if I were to buy a stock piece from TopLace, would my stylist cut it in to fit my balding area? And how long does a stock piece take to arrive at my doorstep? I Live in Los Angeles, CA. Thanks again!
Hey JRob. It's really nice to finally meet you. I've seen some of the videos and pictures you have posted and the help that you offer is beyond my words. Thanks, you have my gratitude.

(11-17-2011, 03:43 PM)JRob Wrote: Hey 24hours,

What I would do if I were you is to make a list of all of the hair replacement salons in your area and set up an appointment. If they can show you a high quality product and give you a reasonable price, go for it. Make sure they itemize the hair, bonding, and cut-in service. Ask for a sample of the type of base they will be using. You can always transition to DIY down the road once you see what it is all about.

I know you aren't wanting to go the do-it-yourself route, but if a salon is going to charge you more than a few hundred dollars for a hairpiece you might want to order a custom unit from Toplace and have the salon get you squared away with the bond and cut-in once you have the hair. When you talk to the salons ask them if they would be willing to do a cut-in if you already have the hair. If they were going to charge you $1000 for the hair and you can get it for $200 online you will still come out ahead even if they charge more for the cut-in.

Another concern that I have is the difference between pieces. I know TopLace offers undetectable and high quality pieces....so if I end up going the DIY route in a couple months and I were to get one piece from a salon and another from John, won't that be obvious?

Quote:Of course it does complicate things a bit when you buy your hair from one place and get it serviced from somewhere else, but at least if you order from John you will know what you are getting product wise. You wouldn't want to get stuck with a unit made with thick, outdated base material, and from what I understand some salons aren't exactly keeping up with the times.

Bottom line- you can save yourself a lot of money ordering online and going the DIY route. I understand you wanting to get some help in the beginning, just make sure you do your homework and ask lots of questions before you agree to anything.

And keep in mind, if you have any questions once you get started there are always some knowledgeable folks here on the forum, so don't hesitate to ask.

I'm glad to know I can rely on these message boards for help.

Also, my hair is black and I currently use a concealer to cover it. It is fooling just about everyone but looks really ugly and bad. If I were to convert to a piece it'll probably create less of a mess than the amount of concealers it takes to cover my balding head. I just hope it doesn't get caught by the naked eye.
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11-17-2011, 05:30 PM,
#5
RE: I am losing my mind... (Please help a fellow out)
Hey 24 hours, I was and still am in the same boat as you. I was so nervous about going this whole hair wearing route but decided it was finally time to stop hiding behind the hat and be more confident in my life. I found this site one night last month and after reading all the posts and viewing all these guys fantastic hair pictures my mind was made up.

I was directed by some good people on this site to a great stylist in NYC who did all my measurements for my first piece at a very reasonable price. I am now awaiting my first order and will be going back to her for my first cut in and style as soon as I receive it. I am now more excited than anxious about wearing. People say you can do the template yourself however, I chose to have stylist do it because it is my first time and wanted to make sure everything was done right. (I even sound like a hair wearing virgin, lol)

All I can offer is a big DO IT! I waited way to many years and missed out on a lot of social activities because I could not go or do anything without having my baseball cap on. I refused to be seen without it. So do not waste time and just go get that confidence back. Just my 2 cents of advice and Good Luck!
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11-17-2011, 06:19 PM,
#6
RE: I am losing my mind... (Please help a fellow out)
(11-17-2011, 03:03 PM)24hours Wrote: I have recently posted this on another forum, didn't get any help... This is the only place that I believe can actually help me out. Please hear me out...

I am currently 25 years old.

Started losing hair when I was 18, so the doctor recommended me to start on Rogaine and Propecia right away.....and so I did (...)

<snip>

Hey 24 ...

I feel your pain. I remember noticing a sliver dollar sized bald spot, and some recession in the front when I was in my early twenties. It was alarming, as it is for most of us. I was a young musician, with a great head of hair ... not for long.

I went through the minoxidil attempt with little result. Then, as hair loss progressed, I looked at my options as I approached 30. I had already taken to wearing a hat often. In the early nineties, Propecia was not yet available, hair pieces were still pretty obvious, concealers were not an option because I had no hair at my crown for the material to adhere to ... and transplants were the hot thing, but the technology pretty crude.

So I got transplants, which helped in the front for a little while ... until I lost more hair there. Then, the large plugs (so called "minigrafts") were very visible. I wore a hat full time from then on, except when I absolutely couldn't, making me very self conscious. The transplants became one of my biggest regrets.

I just wanted to share this to relate to your plight ... and to remind you that hair wearing, at its current development, is a real and viable option which places you in a much better position than some of us older guys when we were your age. Be at least glad of that.

I have still done things wrong, as pointed out by the above posters ... I'm currently stuck in a salon/contract situation and I really recommend against that. It's expensive, the results mediocre, and it traps you into relying on their service to manage it all. They want you to tethered to them.

Follow the advice of the previous posters. I can tell you that, even w/ my current contract/salon handicap, wearing is a real solution for me. I decided that even if some people close to me knew, it would be worth it, compared to looking like I did.

There are some adjustments to wearing, there is a learning curve, and it is not perfect all the time. BUT, you'll be surprised how comfortable you'll quickly become, and (with the current quality of hair pieces) how little people will really pay attention to your hair.

I always noticed people glancing up at my transplants ... now there are never upward glances. And I'm not even yet achieving the most natural and undetectable look possible as compared to some of the DIY veterans you see in photos here, and on other forums.

I encourage you to go forward, you'll be much happier.

FB
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11-17-2011, 06:19 PM,
#7
RE: I am losing my mind... (Please help a fellow out)
(11-17-2011, 04:40 PM)24hours Wrote: My biggest fear is people knowing its a piece or somehow finding out...

Well, that's where it gets a little dicey. If your hair loss is already noticeable, then naturally people are going to notice when you show up with a full head of hair. You can ameliorate that a little by ordering light density the first go round and then work your way up to a fuller head of hair over the next 2 or 3 pieces. That's the one tip of the hat (the hat I no longer wear) that I'll give to the club I started with -- they started with a light density piece and slowly increased the density over the next 3 units. As a result, nobody saw a dramatic change and I wasn't busted. But, if you've done a good job with concealers and others around you aren't really cognizant of your hair loss, then you don't need to bother. But, look, you're going to notice a difference, and so will everyone else. It's a small price to pay. So don't let that stop you.

You also asked in your last post whether the supplier would cut down a stock unit to fit your balding area. The general answer is "No." But, again, don't overcomplicate this thing. All you have to do is take a pair of scissors and cut the thing down. And you don't have to be exact. You're going to be close in your estimations of the needed size (I promise you will -- it's not difficult), and if you're a half inch off, it's not going to matter unless you wear your hair very short. But since you're going to start out with a salon, you don't need to worry about stocks. Just make a template the first time you take the thing off and send it in to John here at Toplace and get a custom. You might even ask the salon folks to make 2 templates for you. One for their use, and one for yours.

As for alternating 2 pieces from different sources, hey, look, nobody's hair looks the same 2 days in a row, anyway. Good hair days and bad ones, right? And even if you ordered from the same supplier, I can assure you that no 2 hairpieces will ever be exactly alike. Again, don't over-complicate this. Perfection is unattainable and, more importantly, not necessary for you to reach your intended goals. People think a lot less about your hair than you do. As a result, subtle differences that you might notice will NOT be noticed by others. I have never come close to being "busted," and neither will you if you take a little time during the attachment process. I'd also recommend a comb down style to begin with. That will take a lot of pressure off you in trying to get a perfect hairline during the early going.

Best of luck.....
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11-17-2011, 06:40 PM,
#8
RE: I am losing my mind... (Please help a fellow out)
24hours, I really feel for you, because u sound a lot like me.. im the same age as you too AND i live in LA also. I started losing hair at your age as well, got 2,000 grafts at 22 also. I had a gf too who i broke up with because i didnt want her to realize i was losing my hair. I lost so much confidence.. and dude, I was a HIT with women. I still am because my loss isnt so bad and concealers completely disguise it but i distance my self from girls because im insecure they wont think im 'the man' anymore. These last few months my hairs been getting worse and concealers seem like they wont be much help soon. So i decided to research hair systems. I researched for a good month and a half.. and then I ordered a system so i can move on.. I took the bull by the horns and decided to be proactive and fix this before it becomes noticable rather than do nothing and bit** and comlain about my life and wonder why i was dealt these cards in life. I also had this hatred feeling in my heart because ive always been a really nice type of guy with a good heart and i was very active.. the hairloss has changed me imo to a somewhat more bitter person and im a lot less social and more insecure. I got to a point where i was like "f$$$ THIS!" IM GOING TO BE PROACTIVE ABOUT THIS AND STOP BEATING MYSELF UP! I AM GOING TO COME BACK BETTER THAN EVER, AND IF I DONT, THEN I WILL GO DOWN GUNS BLAZING"
I decided to order a hair system from john. I told myself while i wait, im going to try to get into spectacular shape.. Im going to have my hair back and im going to have an amazing body.
I literally just got back from the gym now. I train my ass off man. When im doing my cardio and i reach that point where i cant go anymore, I close my eyes and i think of all this BS ive been dealing with and i find that motivation i need to go that extra bit.
I actually got an email from john this morning saying my system is on its way. I scheduled a cut in for sunday. I really hope this works out, no, im going to MAKE this work out.. Im not going to let my self have life slip by because hair got me down. Im going to take my life back and make it even better.. And when i do, I'll appreciate every little thing in life that we take granted for. 24, take this advice. Guys our age deserve more than self-pitty, Grasp this and conquer it man. I really feel for you bro, and you got a buddy here for life.. as long as you're here on this forum. anyway, good luck
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11-17-2011, 08:55 PM,
#9
RE: I am losing my mind... (Please help a fellow out)
Well 24hours...you obviously struck a chord with the guys here --I`ve never seen so many long/detailed and supportive replies to a new thread, all posted in such a short time !! So, firstly, well-done to yourself for plucking up the courage to wear your heart on your sleeve and tell us so candidly about how you feel about the whole thing, and also I really admire all the wearers/soon-to-be wearers who replied in such detail.....just shows the amount of goodwill there is among wearers towards each other. So welcome to the forum..you`re in the right place.
There`s not much more which I can add, as the guys have covered it. I`m in the `Posting-freak`category on here [lol] simply because , as a `victim` of hair-clubs and Salon suppliers/maintenance regimes, I`ve spent a small fortune on systems.....if ONLY I`d found Toplace earlier --oh well, I`m here now and saving money big-time....... I just HATE to see/read of people being ripped-off, simply because they are in your situation of feeling totally self-conscious and depressed because of hair loss.....the world is full of rip-off merchants, so PLEASE do NOT allow yourself to be ripped off. I can understand that Salons have overheads which an on-line vendor does not have [utility bills, styling / bonding products and staff wages etc.] but many of them just take total advantage. Without getting too technical, I was reading that hair loss is caused by high levels of testosterone which `strangles`the blood-supply to the hair roots etc. so the old saying that bald men are better lovers has quite a bit of truth to it [ !] but the actual psychological effect of hair loss on most individuals, almost emasculates them [us] as we feel unattractive and self-conscious and that leads to loss of libido and self-esteem. Every emotion you have outlined above, we have all experienced ..so we feel your pain bro !! You asked one question which I`d like to clarify for you: the `fit`of a stock versus custom---most people`s heads are different in terms of size/shape/contour. Stock systems can and do fit some people like a glove, but for many, the best way to get a fit which is unique to your individual head-shape, is to make a template [it`s SO easy to do] and get a system made from that. Stocks can `bunch-up` here and there at certain points around the perimeter when sitting onto the head simply because the contour/shape of the head is `different`. Yes there can be issues at first when wearing no matter where a system was obtained, but nothing too major if a bit of research has been done by the prospective wearer first. Finally, just to wish you the very very best with it all.....yourself and elvis should hook up at some stage even if it`s by e -mail to `compare notes`.....by the way elvis---- I`ll be waiting for the pics when you get the system cut-in ...I know how anxious you`re prob. feeling now just before it arrives.....hope it`s everything you want/need......cheers guys and feel free to ask/post any time 24--we`ll do our best to give you tips/advice. Paul.
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11-17-2011, 09:17 PM,
#10
RE: I am losing my mind... (Please help a fellow out)
hey paul, I will def share pics with you and everyone else here as soon as i get the cut in done. id love your opinion and everyone elses so i feel more comfortable and/or make tweaks wherever i may need them. not to mention the fact that you and everyone else here has gotten me this far.. i feel obliged to help future wearers too.
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