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Facebook Pics
01-30-2012, 09:07 AM,
#11
RE: Facebook Pics
Simply looks like you let your hair grow back--nothing more. People often don`t update information and/or pics on sites such as Facebook for ages, and when they do, their appearance has often, changed quite a bit. From what I can see in the [low-quality] pics. you have no issue whatsoever.... you`re just being ultra-sensitive to possible reactions...just shrug any negative `observations` off by saying `yeah I got tired of the shiny-dome look and let it all grow back --- take a good look because I might shave it all off again` ....they`ll soon forget about it, and move on to something else.
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01-30-2012, 12:58 PM,
#12
RE: Facebook Pics
expriest ... I'm really in full agreement w/ the other posters ... you've got no issue to worry about based on the pics you posted. Shaved head w/ shadow to the longer hair is a totally natural, believable transition and time lapse ... nothing jumps out at all in the pic w/ hair. And if it doesn't to us, it certainly will not to anyone else.

The fact that you said you just got up and going w/ a full cap tells me a lot ... your concern is a normal discomfort and worry because YOU are not used to your look as yet ... but objectively, it's completely natural, no red flags at all in that pic. If that pic is the same size and resolution as on facebook, you've got nothing to worry about ...

Relax ... enjoy Smile

~FB
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01-30-2012, 04:34 PM,
#13
RE: Facebook Pics
Thanks so much guys, maybe I am indeed overreacting. I think you're right FB, it's a matter of getting used to myself this way. I was feeling pretty good this week, thinking that I just might actually be able to integrate this into me and my lifestyle for the long term. It might just take a bit more time and experience.

I went ahead and 'approved' the pic so it's showing on my wall with a lot of comments from other friends of this girl. No comments from any of my friends/people who know me. There is one thing I know for sure, but I think I'm able to come to terms with it: one of my best old friends has known about my hair saga (transplants, hairpiece, shaved head w/scar etc). His family knew too (about the transplants at age 20). I know he and his sister - and perhaps others who it possibly leaked to years ago - have to know when looking at that pic. But I don't care. Like I said, now my mission is just getting on with it and making it a part of me. There will be challenges no doubt. Hooking up with a girl and having her run hand through my hair comes to mind (some of you guys are lucky that you have supporting wives/girlfriends). But I guess this is all a part of wearing. And like I alluded to earlier, if it looks really good 90% of the time, and makes me look better and feel more comfortable in my own skin, then I am ok with people knowing "I've done something". We're not on this earth very long!

The fact that the two girls happened to be 25 and 30 years old (I'm almost 37) and gorgeous made the night a little more edgy in my mind, although I had a good time and behaved confidently (I think).

Anyway, thanks guys for your reality check. I was actually so distraught for a bit there that I was starting to have second thoughts. Definitely not a good time to make an important decision! Glad I still got it on and will be going to work in the morning feeling fine and ready to start the week. It helps hearing other opinions from people who know what it's like to be in my shoes. That's why these forums are so valuable. There's no way I'd be wearing if we didn't have these resources.
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01-30-2012, 10:01 PM,
#14
RE: Facebook Pics
From the pictures, I assumed you were in your 20s, so that just shows you how pictures can be misinterpreted/misleading or just down right flattering!

Very much like you, I had a close friend & her family that supported me and knew of what I was doing with my hair.
At the time I lived in quite a small town and assumed that gossip etc would leak out via them.
I assumed that every one they knew, knew about me, but weren't saying anything to me about it.

I was REALLY shocked & overwhelmed when 15 years later I discovered that they had stood by me and never uttered a word outside of their family.

The girl went on to get a boyfriend and has been with him the last 6 years.
I see them regularly and after all this time I assumed that she had spoken about my hair with her boyfriend.
Not maliciously or anything, but they were in a relationship and it would only be natural for her to share.
Consequently I started to speak more openly in front of him.
Just recently I said something (a reference to my hair not being my own) and I could tell from his expression he didn't have a clue what I was talking about.
She had never uttered a word to her boyfriend even though they're incredibly close.

I asked her about it and she said she wished she could claim it was purely out of loyalty to me that she kept my personal details to herself.
But she said in all honesty, it was mainly due to the fact that it never occurred to her to say anything.
She said she'd sort of forgotten about my hair and never really thought about it.
She said it wasn't like she'd had to make an effort to keep a big secret. She just thought of me as me and my hair as my hair, if she thought about it at all!
There was no issue and no secret for her to keep.

Subsequently 2 other friends have said very similar things to me.
These 2 friends had held my hand during all my trials & traumas of transplants and visiting salons and looking at alternatives and supported me through it all 18 years ago (maybe longer now!).
2 years ago the 3 of us rented a small place for a month long holiday with only 1 bathroom.
During the trip I told them I needed them to take themselves off out for an afternoon because I needed to monopolise the bathroom.
They looked at me like I was mad and became concerned that I had become sick of their company or was cross with them about something.
I explained I needed to re do my hair. Their faces were blank.
They still didn't know what I was talking about.
I had to spell it out for them and I could see that it was only then that it dawned on them what I was talking about.
I'd been ticking along for so many years wearing my hair and getting on with it, that they had completely forgotten about what I had to do to maintain my hair.
They just never thought it about it any more, despite them being the ones that had mopped up all my tears and listening to all my woes, all those years ago.

Just because I think about my hair every day, it doesn't mean that every one around me does also.
They have their own stuff to think about!
This is true for every one, be they close friends, acquaintances or complete strangers.

Having forums like this is great as it allows us to vent, share & gain knowledge etc.
But I'm aware that it can also allow us to fuel our own personal obsessiveness, dwelling on details that simply are of no relevance to any one else outside of this arena.

I have to frequently remind myself that I had hair issues, even when it was all my own natural hair.
It never did or looked exactly how I wanted it to, back then.
Just because I've had it tailor-made now to my requirements, I kind of expect it to do and be exactly what I want.
This just isn't reasonable.
Every one has bad hair days and I rather have a few of those than a lifetime of 'no hair' days!
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01-31-2012, 06:16 AM,
#15
RE: Facebook Pics
Very wise, Hersute ... I hope your well digested experience will not be lost on new wearers here. I know you've been doing this for some time. I'm a newbie compared to you, yet I have already had many experiences w/ a similar theme to your anecdotes. Thank you for sharing them.

We put in even a minimum of effort to get our hair looking good enough ... and even that is a higher standard than anyone else will hold us to. People who know I've "done something" forget that I have, or that it may involve some maintenance ... they don't care, they don't remember what I looked like before, they tell me (unsolicited) that I look good, that I'm more comfortable in my own skin (no pun intended Wink) ... and beyond a minimum of effort to get an undetectable look, it's that comfort, confidence, ease that defines wearing successfully ...

~FB
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