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Blog essay (not mine): "The Lament of the Balding"
03-27-2011, 06:30 AM,
#1
Blog essay (not mine): "The Lament of the Balding"
http://rocketpoweredbutterfly.com/?p=25

Lament of the Balding
Posted on July 15, 2010 by TJ

I am going bald.

There is no doubt about this; my hair is falling out at a rate that has finally leveled off after years of dramatic, rapid increase. To be honest, though, I kind of wish that my hair decayed exponentially into a quick oblivion, allowing me to definitively state that yes, I Am A Bald Man. Instead, I am entering the murky, divisible by zero waters of the dreaded Balding.

There are some who say that my fate is not yet sealed. Why not fight? Why not bring all the weapons of modern science to bear on the silently stalking demons of androgenic alopecia? Despite my desire to channel my inner Epictetus and accept my fate, I still struggle with the decision to simply allow my hair to continue its desertion of this mortal coil: I am weak. I hereby openly admit that, yes, I’ve experimented with Rogaine (active ingredient: minoxidil, works as a hypertrichotic agent promoting hair growth through unclear methods, available OTC) with positive results; i.e. the advance of Forehead ground to a halt and there were definitive sprouts seen on previously lost territory. Propecia (active ingredient: finasteride; inhibits the formation of dihydrotesterone in the victim’s scalp, available via prescription only) requires a financial and medical commitment I just couldn’t justify; moreover, its FDA-promised deleterious effect on a man’s sexual health seems frightening at best. The (relatively) minor side effects to Rogaine were basically being annoyed at having to apply it twice a day and a slight dryness to my scalp, but, despite the ease of use and positive results, I just couldn’t keep it up. At first, I thought it was because I a) didn’t want to be beholden to a product for the rest of my life and b) disliked the idea of forcing my body to ingest unnecessary substances only to salve my own vanity. (Why I can’t muster myself to level similar arguments against whiskey or Diet Coke remains a mystery.) As the long retreat continues and with increasingly desperate pleas from my wife to at least make a move towards some kind defense, I’ve had to examine more closely what, exactly, keeps me from fighting.

There is a certain grace that comes with Being Bald, a certain Stoic acceptance of fate best exemplified by those who walk boldly into the spotlight, domes shining. On the other side, of course, are those who resist nature, refusing to go quietly into that hairless night. Although I refuse to medically supplement my mane, I can at least understand those who do. A last stand, a chemically fortified stasis preserving nature’s bounty is not an unreasonable position. Those who go beyond the medicinal, however, who resort to camouflage and surgery, have reserved for them a special circle in Hell.

To subject oneself to chemical fortification is to merely prolong the inevitable, a deal made with a Pfizian devil resulting in a lifetime of dependence on supplements. Even then, the main goal of these treatments is simply stasis, with new growth being merely a hoped-for byproduct. I refuse to maintain a head eternally shaded in medicinal gray. Given the choice between a lifetime of servitude to Merck and figurative death, I choose death, the Starkian not worst of evils. The serenity people tend to attribute to Buddhist monks and the elderly is based on their acceptance of circumstance, and it is our modern misfortune to be overloaded with attempts at changing our fate. (OK, were headed down a depressingly preachy path here, wherein I bemoan plastic surgery and Heidi Montag and the insatiability of man and maybe even reality TV deals. Let’s skip all that and leave it as: maybe we could just be happy with what we got instead of pumping ourselves full of silicone/finasteride/et cetera.)

While Bald is a state that one can come to accept, Balding is a (seemingly endless) process that seems designed to test one’s mettle. It’s like being on the receiving end of well-funded insurgency, each hair the victim of an unseen V.C. I feel like I could accept being a Bald Man, it’s just the participial phase that’s killing me. I think it might have to do with our (humanity’s) difficulty with transition in general. Think about waiting rooms or airport jetways or the time between when you order food and are actually eating. These are not good times. What’s worse, being punched in the face or that brief infinitesimal moment where you know it’s coming but there’s nothing on God’s green earth you can do to stop it? (That’s the moment where you make this face.) There is something sad and marginalized about balding that is simply not present for those who have come to a terminus in their hair loss and thereby own the identity. We (the Balding) are neither here nor there, part of neither world.

There is also a practical problem that must be dealt with. Bald Man has but one reasonable choice for grooming: the close shave. In the netherworld of the Balding Man, however, we are force to choose from a wide array of styles, none of which are any good. The most reasonable, I think, is to emulate the Already Hairless and simply shave as close as one dare; but when do we make this switch? Do we not deserve a little more time amongst the well-coiffed? An outsider would say the line should be drawn when what’s left on your head no longer supports a style at all, but making the determination that that stage has been reached is far from easy. Every morning post-toothbrush time, the constant running voice through Balding Man’s head asks as he styles, “Is this futile? Are people laughing behind my back? Am I just rubbing hair product directly on my scalp at this point?” The true Bald Man has no such worries.

There is no grace for those of us wandering in a somewhat haired purgatory. We are Matt Lauer; we are Guido del Duca on the Second Terrace. (Second Dante reference!) Instead, we can only stand in jealous envy of the refreshing and honest Proud Bald Man. Look at the synonyms selected for inclusion in Microsoft’s robo-thesaurus for “bald”: plain, blunt, frank, direct, straightforward. Bill Gates & Co. might as well thrown in a picture of Michael Chiklis as any character he’s played since The Shield. We admire how Bald Man makes the best of what, to the haired, is a bad situation. He has met the enemy and they are his.

I am going bald; I shall not (and ultimately, can not) stop this. I just wish I was there already.
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03-27-2011, 01:20 PM,
#2
RE: Blog essay (not mine): "The Lament of the Balding"
I felt the same way years ago... now days I don;t worry about it, I have accepted it....now I live under a hat.... and soon a hair system.... how soon I don't know, I got the system the glues and tapes... but it is difficult to just go for it. I think I am giving up and soon will just shave my head and forget about the beauty of hair on top.
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03-27-2011, 07:59 PM,
#3
RE: Blog essay (not mine): "The Lament of the Balding"
Hi Mr Hair...... well there have been many potential wearers having the same last-minute doubts as you are having ..a few recently who finally took the bull by the horns and got `on` with it...they have posted here to say the only regret was not doing it earlier, so before you just ditch the idea and in view of the fact you have paid for your system and products, why not at least try it and then if you don`t like it or think it`s not for you, at least you`ll be making an informed choice...otherwise you`ll have that niggling doubt/question in your mind..what have you got to lose only the cost of a cut-in? If I were you, I`d at least give it a go.....you can then see how you look with a full head of hair again before you decide to go totally/shaved bald.Deep down, none of us really `want`to be bald..... I was out and about with a friend yesterday and he`s been thinning badly on the front and crown and had been really buzzing his remaining hair ...another person had suggested he not buzz it so severely and now that he has some hair back again, it looks a lot better ..I`m trying to suggest to him to try wearing.... he knows I wear, so I had on my older system [cut-in last August] and he was surprised it looks so good still and for the cost,[low] isn`t it nice to just look and feel `human`again..... I`d NEVER go without hair ..not in a million years.... the last minute ` jitters` are perfectly understandable, but why slam the door without even trying it out..what have you to lose ? Regards, Paul.
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03-28-2011, 01:25 AM,
#4
RE: Blog essay (not mine): "The Lament of the Balding"
I find that there are two main obstacles that people have when deciding to wear hair. And both are false. The first obstacle is realistic appearance. People say 'I can spot a hair piece a mile away---they look fake.' That's only true for bad hair pieces. The good hair pieces you don't even notice--they look completely realistic. The second obstacle is cost--'you get what you pay for.' 'How can a hair piece that only costs $195 look realistic?' 'You have to be a Hollywood movie star to afford a realistic hair piece--they must cost thousands of dollars.' The fact is, there is a lot of baloney in this business. There are many hair piece sellers that charge thousands of dollars for a unit simply because people believe that 'you get what you pay for.' That's true in most cases but not hair replacement. We get many customers from Richard Farrell that pay $2,800 for a unit---and they are required to purchase two units from him. Richard Farrell issued the 'Farrell Challenge' that said that no other hair supplier could come close to his 'ultra custom hair system.' Toplace accepted that challenge on June 26 '09 and we still have not heard from him. Truth is, this is real human hair attached to a base. You can 'sell the steak' or 'sell the sizzle.' Toplace sells the steak.
Regards,
John
http://toplace.com/
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03-28-2011, 05:48 AM,
#5
RE: Blog essay (not mine): "The Lament of the Balding"
Life is a funny thing. There was a time where I felt the only problem in my life was my baldness and it was my number 1 complaint and worry. Now that I am older I realize how stupid I was, that new problems showed me what real problems are and that I should have enjoyed life more instead of worrying about my stupid hair. That is life tho, we only focus on the bad or our problems and take for granted what we do have.

You should just think about it calm and logically and don't make a fuss about it. U have options losing your hair. Yeah you could shave it if that fits you, or you could spend a couple hundred dollars and try a hair system. I mean this board is full of people of all ages who are not clueless, who wear a system with their friends and family and get unnoticed. I wore my entire 20's without a problem. I have friends who would make fun of me if they knew I wore a hair system, that is just how they are. and they didn't have a clue. if you read up get info.. Know a little bit of what you are doing and if you have a little bit of common sense, you will be fine curing your hairloss with this solution of u want to.
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03-28-2011, 11:04 AM,
#6
RE: Blog essay (not mine): "The Lament of the Balding"
Guys I read on a different forum I can use "scotchguard" (fabric protector) and it will work as a knot sealer, what is your opinion on this? I want to do my first attachment tomorrow but don't have knot sealer... should I use the scothguard?
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03-28-2011, 01:33 PM,
#7
RE: Blog essay (not mine): "The Lament of the Balding"
Take out as many variables as possible. If I were you I would just do the attachment without the knot sealer (an unnecessary variable).

Some of us (including myself) don't even know what this is! And our systems are fine.

If you are new to wearing, keep it was simple as possible first.

Leamon


(03-28-2011, 11:04 AM)Mr.Hair Wrote: Guys I read on a different forum I can use "scotchguard" (fabric protector) and it will work as a knot sealer, what is your opinion on this? I want to do my first attachment tomorrow but don't have knot sealer... should I use the scothguard?
Reply
03-28-2011, 08:54 PM,
#8
RE: Blog essay (not mine): "The Lament of the Balding"
(03-28-2011, 11:04 AM)Mr.Hair Wrote: Guys I read on a different forum I can use "scotchguard" (fabric protector) and it will work as a knot sealer, what is your opinion on this? I want to do my first attachment tomorrow but don't have knot sealer... should I use the scothguard?

Hello Mr Hair..... it`s not necessary to apply knot sealer immediately--especially in the case of a `freestyle`system...the hairs are tied-in in such a way that you can `play`with different styles, in the early days of wearing, or `train`the hair into your preferred `usual`style.....the hairs will tend to hold that style after a while...you can then apply sealer which will `lock`the hairs into position. Some wearers don`t use it --personally I don`t want to run the risk of premature shedding, which is what it helps to minimise/prevent. I`m not sure about the product you mention --haven`t heard about it being used as a sealer....I`d rather [no pun ! ] stick with what I know ....cheers, Paul.
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