As the title alludes to, I'm having a really, really, really bad case of cold feet.

I am all right to go - got 2 pieces which are good, got all the stuff to use, got a place to get it cut in lined up, got a bit under 2 months until I start a new job, so no one will have seen me before.

But I can't take that final step and book an appointment with the stylist.

Some times during the day I am a definite yes to doing it, others I am leaning towards no.

I guess the main thing I am afraid of is being busted - of people being able to tell I wear. I couldn't think of anything worse if people could tell.

I am also a bit scared of the whole do it yourself approach - I am scared I will muck up the attachments and again leave myself open to embarrassment.

Are these feelings normal?

And if they are, how did you ultimately overcome them?

Hi Snell,
Here's a suggestion that might help you 'get over the hump.' Lots of guys let their beard grow and come to work with 'new hair' and a beard. When people say 'something looks different about you but I don't know what' you can respond with 'I let my beard grow out.' Then after a few days of people seeing you with the beard and hair you can shave the beard. You'll be amazed at how people view your hair as part of the 'complete package' and accept you as how you should normally look. You'll look complete. The loss of hair had made you incomplete. You'll do fine.
Regards,
John

Hi snell----- there was a similarly-titled thread a few months back from Kevin in Scotland. He finally went through with it and told us so the day he got his system styled-in. He was heading out for drinks with his friends..we never did get any further feedback as far as I can remember, but I do recall leaving him a congratulatory post !
I can understand your concerns..it`s a bit like clinging to a life-belt after falling into the sea and afraid to let go, and let yourself be hauled aboard the rescue boat ! I felt the same apprehensions even though I was going to a Salon, for the very first time, who were going to do the whole thing for me [ I still vividly remember that very first trip].....after a few years of that, I even had the same doubts about attempting to go the ``DIY` route, and thankfully I found this site and Toplace....... honestly, this is not rocket-science and you`ll have seen other posts here by people who say the same.......your stylist will not leave you open to being busted if he/she is any good at all. Once you have your cut-in done, that`s it. I can assure you that even if you are not happy with your first one or two attachments, no-one else will ``see`` anything ...it`s just you will be conscious that YOU are not happy with it......nothing drastic will happen...it won`t come off your head or anything like that and you can always do a little `adjustment` ... the main trick is to position it correctly before beginning to actually bond it....just TAKE YOUR TIME at the start.... just do it bit by bit......`anchor` it at the temples with a little tape then apply your glue and/or tape whatever way you find easiest for you..... you`re ideally placed now to make the transition as you are starting a new job and those people as yet don`t know you or see you as you are now.....just `grab the bull by the horns` and go for it !! You`ll be glad you did. It`s a `new`chapter in life for you...you`re not a freak, but obviously were `bothered`enough to go order supplies and 2 systems and line up a stylist.....you`ve obviously researched it all so it`s not as if you`re jumping in without looking...... come on in--the water`s lovely and warm !!!! lol! Paul.

i dont think what john said is not your problem as u said you have new job in 2 months?? let me try to give you some insight. first off i am not sure your age??? does matter some i guess. if 21 not as good as 40 i guess????
ok its really simple imo. you have a simple choice facts are that all look better with hair. unless you have real dark complexion.that sure helps when you are balding.
simple get the guts up and go get a cutin. stop worrying about your look so bad. you will get a stress attack before anything else.you got 2 months to practice to get it right for new job.
!
#1 get a pro to do the first cutins. whre do you live maybe we can tell u some places.
maybe wear bands to hid hairline?? not sure your age..
but get somne balls as after you start wearing , you will feel much more confident. i wish at 48 now that was my only problem in life yours with wearing. ITS A big STEP. but not as big as you will think after wearing awhile. i been wearing now like 8 yrs?? dont mean to be rude to you just helpfull..
bob/philly

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also get both piecs cutin at the same time so u can rotate them to make clean ups easier as a newbee. slap new one on head while cleaning the other
bob/p

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shell follow this simpl thinking Read this, and let it really sink in... Then, choose how you start your day tomorrow...


Jerry is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant.

The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gun point by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man.'

I knew I needed to take action." " What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'"

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.


Positive thinking the the first step towards a happy life.

Attitude is everything

If everyone applies just these, the whole world will live in happiness.

(01-14-2011, 03:13 AM)bobbyphilly Wrote: i dont think what john said is not your problem as u said you have new job in 2 months?? let me try to give you some insight. first off i am not sure your age??? does matter some i guess. if 21 not as good as 40 i guess????
ok its really simple imo. you have a simple choice facts are that all look better with hair. unless you have real dark complexion.that sure helps when you are balding.
simple get the guts up and go get a cutin. stop worrying about your look so bad. you will get a stress attack before anything else.you got 2 months to practice to get it right for new job.
!
#1 get a pro to do the first cutins. whre do you live maybe we can tell u some places.
maybe wear bands to hid hairline?? not sure your age..
but get somne balls as after you start wearing , you will feel much more confident. i wish at 48 now that was my only problem in life yours with wearing. ITS A big STEP. but not as big as you will think after wearing awhile. i been wearing now like 8 yrs?? dont mean to be rude to you just helpfull..
bob/philly

---

also get both piecs cutin at the same time so u can rotate them to make clean ups easier as a newbee. slap new one on head while cleaning the other
bob/p

Thanks guys for all the replies. I'm 23 - I must admit, I don't have too many stresses in my life, but this whole thing has really depressed me and I need to do something to get myself out of this rut.

I have researched this route for 2 years now - I know what to do and how to do it, so to speak, even though I haven't done it before. I know how it all works.

Also, at 23, I feel very young to be doing this. If I were older, it would almost be more "acceptable". It's just you wouldn't expect to find too many people in their early 20s to go down the hair replacement path (even though I am sure there are stacks who have).

The plan is to ring the stylist tomorrow morning - hopefully I have the guts to follow through and do it.

Also, I'll never get a better time in my life to do this. Once I start full time work, that is it for the next 30-40 years of my life. I won't be able to transition as easy. So I know that I MUST act very soon - it will be for the best in the long run.

you are a young guy its so much easier young as you have so many styles to wear. others will not have a clue..99% dont look to see if a 23 yo has real hair...you see wearing hair does not change who you are . it just changes how you feel to act more fluid in life as just a starter to boost your confidence. you have alot up on me and others as we all wasted 4000 us on salons who sold us crap hair. as a newbee you can buy alot of hair till you get the style u like cheap imo..best of luck .ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.
bobby/philly its thurs hre i have a choice today start day neg. or work out in cold at 10 degress's or so and think wow like is good car wife dog. no bad illness's food...good luck
bobby

Ring the stylist TODAY !! Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today !!!
In an ideal world none of us would have to wear.. it`s not ideal, but look at it this way..it`s only hair loss and nothing like a terminal illness.... I know if I went to a Specialist doctor for a full check-up, and he gave me the results something along the lines of `` I have your results..... you have nothing life-threatening, but you ARE going to lose most of your hair within the next twelve months`` -- I sure wouldn`t be telling him I`m disappointed and is he absolutely sure that I don`t have something more serious as I`d prefer that ???? I`d be delighted that hair loss was all I had to be bothered about !! [Just trying to put it into perspective for you ! ] You are so fortunate- as has been pointed out there by bobbyphilly- to have found [ in my opinion] THE best hair-supplier around, with systems at such reasonable cost to you, and no matter what your age, hair loss for most men of ANY age is a real confidence/self-esteem buster... everything is in your favour.......just go for it ! And PLEASE do let us know how it goes for you.....it`s a very `real` issue for every potential wearer.... I have yet to hear a wearer say they regret it.....yes there are occasional `issues` but nothing ``End-of-the-world`` stuff.....at least not with Toplace systems anyway !! Paul.

2 ways to look at it the situation.

1) Are you going to keep attempting to do things to please other people your whole life? We've always been taught this as children and in school, make other people happy (parents, teachers etc..) the truth is what do YOU want? Do you want to try an appearance with hair? Just say yes or no, then do it.

2) How many guys here who HAVE jobs have made the transition and now say are really happy? If they had to go through such a tramatic experience and at the end of it are happy, what do you have to lose?

And finally, my reason for doing this is the same as if you lost your tooth and got a fake tooth to replace it. Would you feel weird about fixing your teeth? What about women with fake boob jobs/nose jobs etc... sure some people don't like fake boobs, some people like the appearance, you can't please everyone. I still don't understand why it's fine to fix every part of your body but your hair.

Lastly, it's not permament. I was thinking of getting surgery when I've seen the scars and real problems that a bad surgery can lead to that I said screw it (plus the costs are CRAZY compared to this)

I say do it now. Like you said you have 2 months before you start a job. Start wearing now and if you dont like or its not for you then go around with a short haircut and let your hair grow back in. Think about it you have a month to experiment with it before having to go to work.

I understand how you feel about embarrasement.

But nearly everyone uses something as a crutch to make them feel better. Take women and make up, I've dated some women in the past that would never let me see them without makeup and feel really self conscious about it.

A big part of wearing a wig/hairpiece is faking it, no matter how you feel. Its projecting a f*ck it attitude. Take pride that you are doing something to make YOU feel better, if you look at yourself in the mirror and like seeing yourself bald then be bald. But if you are willing to spend the extra 2 hours a week on maintence to look 100% better, thats being proactive and not being lazy.