MathewMathews,

IMHO, the environment in which we live is substantially influential in forming our early perceptions and experiences about hair wearing, both positive and negative. I believe it is these early perceptions that form, which largely determines whether or not we will extend our initial period of ‘trying the wig’, or not. To realize success in hair wearing, a longer period of assessment is absolutely essential, and if our early perceptions and experiences were base on negative and harsh circumstances, then we are most likely to fail, and thus quit. We circum to the idea that it’s ‘not meant to be’, and that the experience of hair wearing does not live up to our expectation. Unfortunately and fortunately, there is no reality, other than the one we unconsciously create.

When I first started wearing hair, I was very lucky because the transition was mostly invisible, and people didn’t know I had thin hair at all. During my first few weeks of wearing, I received much positive feedback, and ppl couldn’t understand why I wore baseball caps for so long, when I had such great ‘hair’. My perceptions and experiences of wearing hair which were forming in those weeks, were key to my success in unconsciously allowing myself to extend my hair wearing experience, to further asses the positive/negative impacts wearing would have.

Unfortunately, due to certain comments you received early in your hair wearing experience, you formed perceptions that were counterproductive in building up confidence and created a distorted reality of wearing hair, and thus the ‘its not for me’ resignation has replaced a once vibrant hope.

It is a natural, biological response to ‘feel good’ when our physical appearance reflects the perception of how we see our self, and when that perception doesn’t match our appearance, we feel affected. Some more devastated than others.

I honestly believe your whole hair wearing experience could have been entirely different, given a different environment/thought process. I truly feel your pain, and I leave you with a thought of hope. There is hope. You tried hair wearing in ONE situation at ONE stage of your life. There will be other times when you may want to try in different situations.

There’s always hope.

Sam

iv read this thread,its now way past the time i was intending going to bed,
a rivetting read,emotion with a dash of logic,or is that vica versa,
hair never stopped anyone doing anything, whats in between youre ears does that,
i could ramble on about the psychology, but its late.
great contributions,war &peace eat youre heart out!!!

(06-01-2009, 01:01 PM)Sester Wrote: There is hope. You tried hair wearing in ONE situation at ONE stage of your life. There will be other times when you may want to try in different situations.

There’s always hope.

Sam

Hey Sam, and all, well, what a funny thing to have happened back on this thread. That all went down a year ago, I can't believe it's been a year.

That said, lots has changed.

I moved to a different city, and in the process, gave it another shot. And I'm going on four months of wearing. Lots of figuring out solutions to various problems left to do - but *no one* that I already knew has noticed. I moved here with several people that have known me for ages. None of them noticed.

More than that, I feel great. I know there are issues (poly edge lifting, etc) that I have to deal with. No problem. I'll move to all-lace.

The point is, Sam, you were very right - just because one experience was a total downer, doesn't mean I couldn't take some time, reflect, and give it another go. And I think now, I'm really in the game for real.

So, all of you cats feeling discouraged... don't worry. Even if your first attempt is a massive failure, keep trying. Wearing is definitely a lifestyle change and takes massive adjustment - i haven't adjusted yet, that's for sure. But over time, you'll realise you can do it.

Many thanks to all who posted here on this subject, it surprises me that it went on as long as it did!

Matthew

Hi Matthew --just wondering why your poly is lifting/ has lifted. I have never had that happen to me for some reason -- I only use a light [ not all -around the perimeter ] bond for daily removal, so maybe that has something to do with it, but even when I wore all -poly I never had that issue..... I only ever had the problem of the glue breaking down `early`before my due Salon appointment [usually in hot weather ] --- just interested as to thy you have had that issue --regards... Paul.

jeah sam, great to hear that from you

It is normal that your parents could notice that. They know you from your birth and so thats totaly normal if they maybe notice a change. My father ask me the same question but more because he knew (beside my mother, brother and girlfriend) that i use alot concealer and than he certainly want to know how i get my hair back (he ask if i got some medical help) . As he heared i use Toupet he instandly wanted also a piece (he is norwood 6)^^ and was bit envy of my result

(05-23-2009, 05:11 AM)matthewmatthews Wrote: 1. Last night I saw my father, who instantly looked up and said "what did you do to your hair? It looks like you have twice as much!". I said "I just got a new haircut, styling it a bit differently I guess". And then he said, half-jokingly, "It's not a toupée, is it?".

woa why is you father so harsh?^^ He should know that if he ask in that direkt way, it could arouse alot doupts in your mind (and like i read you got alot of doupts). That reaktion was not ok from the point of view of a father.^^

Dont worry if my father had ask the question in the way your father did (like it is noticable i wear) i would have the same concearns. So keep the head up, he only realied that because he is your father.

what age did youre father lose his hair?
maybee theres some conscioues unconscioues envey, that you have hair at the age he lost his?
doubt it,
i think there are alot of guys who'd love to take the plunge,and missed the boat as regards , transition, and waited to long,
granted this is 2010, 21st century and hair systems are pretty mature,
in there day they probably felt robbed of there looks confidence
one day system wearing will become more socialy acceptable.

i mean we acceptt , false teeth,hair colour(although woman get bitchy over another womans true colour, lol)breast implants,makeup,coloured contacts,
theres individual attitudes,and general attitude within society,maybee its diffrent by culture country?
we never question mens beard moustaashes in the same way.
theres alot of men who never grow facial hair,(cant) my uncles one of them,
his father thought he was less of a man because he never shaved.
i rekon its prob better to tell no one.because if you do, and theres a falling out bigg time, the proverbial will hit the fan.
yeah alot of this has been covered before(pardon the punn)
enjoy youre hair anty

This is a great thread so I thought I'd bump it.
John

Fantastic thread.

I do relate to alot of the psychological downers mentioned here.
I actually hate the fact that i'm wearing, that brings me down from time to time.
On the other hand i do love how i look with the piece, and would for sure feel more down going out totally bald.

What went wrong here (in the beginning of the thread) i believe is the result of not doing your research before jumping in to the game.
And believe me i did my homework and i knew what had to be done.
Everyone had to be fooled or it would been a failure to me.

My first priority was, show hairline. Not all of it but at least a semi exposed hairline.
By doing this i knew the first thought from friends would not be toupe, and a slight difference in color would not matter as much.
This is exactly what i did and the outcome was perfect, only good reactions from friends and no bad comments att all.
They ofcorse they noticed the change but do to the hairline what could they believe?
(used ultra lace for this).

Still trying to perfect this for me and it takes effort, having trouble with my newest piece now with wrinkles in the hairline, its insane... dont know were they coming from, didnt have this much trouble with it before.

Well, good luck to everyone in the game and to those thinking about stepping in.
Its not a walk in the park but if you do your research and do it right it can be worth it.

Cheers!

/The Jackal

Hi! This is my first post.

This is probably not the right thread to post this, I hope it's allright. I want to know if i could send you a private message, Jackal. I think I've read your posts on another forum, if that is you, we speak the same language.
I would really like to learn from you, i'm about the same age as you are and i'm really amazed by your results.

If possible, please send me a private message!

Peace

Coolcool,

sure, you got mail.