Some things I've learned after 2 months of wearing. Some of these things I haven't read elsewhere, but I think it's important for newbies.

1. The first few weeks/months can be really tough. I got pretty deeply depressed at first, I think due to it being a bit overwhelming, not getting everything right at first, feeling like a phony and feeling all the societal stereotypes about wearing, and also it kind of being that final "acceptance" of giving up on my natural hair. Since I lost my hair at a very young age due to thyroid-related illness, a lot of old feelings came back. Just realize that if you do go through the emotional roller coaster, it does get better. And it definitely has for me. The tough part now is getting it right.

2. There is no such thing as "undetectable". But you can get very close. It just takes effort and you can't expect perfection, no matter how much you plan ahead. You can definitely get an exposed hairline that's very close to undetectable, but there will always be an angle, certain lighting that shows the "grid". You just have to temper your expectations. I never wore my hair back, so I had no need for an exposed hairline. I don't think I'd want to anyway, just seems like too much effort and too much risk of detection. Combed forward a bit or any style without a fully exposed hairline with a good attachment, and it's very believable. As far as the crown and other areas, I would say it depends. I have blonde hair. The only thing I have to worry about is the "grid" on the lace. Which would only be noticeable maybe less than a foot away and under brighter lights. Realistically, no one is going to get that close very often. I've also noticed that the more a piece "wears", the less the grid is noticeable. Which is good!

3. There is a break-in period for a lace system. It feels stiffer at first, the hair is poofy and doesn't lay the way you want it. It takes about a week to break in, 2 weeks tops. You'll have to "train" the hair how you want it to sit for the first week or so with styling products.

4. A good stylist can make all the difference. Personally, I wouldn't attempt a cut-in myself or by the mail. Also, it's great to get a template done by a professional. That's not to say others haven't had great results, but cut-ins are truly an art. That said, I hear Debbi does great work, and if you live in a remote area with absolutely no good stylists available that do this - it could be a great option. Personally, I wouldn't do without that expertise and second set of eyes. The stylist recommended on here was a bit far from me, so I panicked at the thought of having to travel all the time (I wasn't comfortable doing the de/re myself since I didn't have a backup). I actually found 2 good stylists that I've been to via online Yellow Pages listings for hair replacement. Research before you go somewhere. Usually you can sniff out the bad places as they tend to operate like used car lots. It's worked out great for me in terms of finding the right people.

5. Color is tough. Send in a hair sample. I'm having color issues now and it's not fun. The mismatch has forced me to wear a hat for the last week with my new piece. Pay attention to lighting, halogen/incandescent light is NOT sufficient to determine color matching. They are warm and actually distort the color, making it seem more uniform. You need sunlight or something close to it (for instance, CFL bulbs that are marketed as "natural light"). It's important to check the color under multiple light sources. If you have a phone with an LED flash, there's a good chance it's close to sunlight in color temperature. You can use the "Flashlight" apps to spot check color.

6. Density is important, but so is hair diameter. If you have finer hair, ask for it. They can accomodate it at TopLace. I didn't know that going into it, but my first stock piece was too course. This custom piece is much better diameter-wise.

7. IMO, 60-65% density is usually going to be the sweet spot for new wearers. Anything less than that, and it shows too much lace and too much room for error (especially as a beginner). Anything more and you run the risk of the wiggy look. Don't panic when you first get the unit and it seems too dense, as I strongly believe the poofiness of a new unit makes it look/feel thicker than it really is. Let it settle down for about a week and then judge the density. Also, hair will shed over time, so starting too low can shorten the usable life of the piece.

8. This is just my opinion, but poly at the perimeter seems useless for those that use tape. I've heard it's easier to maintain, but I don't buy it. It might be more durable but it doesn't really seem easier to clean. I have it on my custom piece, but my stock was all lace and I think I'll stick to that from now on. It also feels lighter and the edge isn't as noticeable. I did all French for the stock, but I'd like to try SFS front and French elsewhere next. I might try the iLace "island" sometime too, but need to better understand the pros/cons as not that much info is out there.

9. People aren't as observent as you think they'll be. Either that, or it's just THAT believable. My SO is a professional stylist, and we spend tons of time together. She has no idea. Which is funny because she thinks she can spot a system/wig on any celebrity. I transitioned from concealers to that, and most people either can't pin why I look good/better, or compliment the new hair style/cut. The only time I had a problem was when one stylist tried to correct color on my last piece the wrong way and another stylist had to try and correct that. By the end it was too dark and I was asked by a few people if I colored my hair. In hindsight, I should've said yes but didn't.

10. Oil based hair products will weaken the bond, so careful with them.

11. Extendabond/Proflex tape = awesome. Best I've used thus far. Lasts 3 weeks for me before it starts to move about. There is some shine though, so you'll either have to dab the crap out of it with your finger after it's on through the lace OR use something like Stop Shine, which I bought and will try soon. I've also heard some people will dab the tape before it goes on the unit, but I haven't tried that. I've seen people say shine isn't an issue if not exposing the hairline, but I think it is with lower densities and short styles too. It will pick up a shine at the right angle. Again, there are ways around this.

12. ORWG is perfect for touch-ups. Less is more, if you use too much glue you'll get it in the hair and it's tough to get out.

13. Do everything possible to keep the system from drying out. Lots of conditioner. Don't shampoo too often. I try to go at least 3-4 days without putting shampoo on it.

14. Scalp protector seems to work for me. Better hold times than without.

15. I still wear a hat often. I thought I'd be wearing it much less by now, but I'm still not super confident. Part of it is just overall anxiety about being detected. I'm sure this will pass, but I didn't expect to still be so reliant on the hat like when I did concealers.

16. It's true, there will be times when it feels like you're not wearing anything. The only time I feel like something is on is if I have an itch, or when I raise my eyebrows up high and feel the bond, or when I'm sleeping and put pressure on my scalp and it moves.

Hope this info helps, I'll be sure to add anything I've forgotten if it comes to mind.

This is a really insightful piece for guys who are thinking of wearing.

I agree with you that a hairpiece is never going to be literally undetectable. The base doesn't dematerialise, so it is there and you can see it if you look hard enough in the right place. I would prefer to say that, when properly applied, a lace piece is functionally undetectable, because the slight visual clues that the base is there - a hint of the mesh, or a slight shine from the glue or tape, or a slight yellowishness from the bleaching of the knots - are all things that the average observer would either ignore altogether or would attribute to something else, like dry skin. The likelihood of an otherwise undetectable hairpiece being given away to a casual observer by him or her spotting the base is minuscule. In fact the only real life example I have ever heard of is John Travolta, and I still don't know what he was up to going out like that.

However, it is a different story if people already know or suspect that you're wearing. Then they are looking in the right place, and less likely to mistake its significance if they spot a clue. That is why it is so important to make the switch to a hairpiece before people are aware you are balding.

GREAT post Rashton.
I really can identify with how you felt at the start.
It took me at least a year to mentally adjust, if not longer.

Great post Rash !!!....Agree, I dont like the poly on the edges. To thick and hard to clean....next piece will be all lace unit and see how that works out. Maybe a thin skin on the edge, only to help with durability. I just tried the Got2be glue spiking jell on the front hairline....works pretty good for a couple days long as you dont sweat or get it wet. It does not like moisture !! Going to try the Stickit tape, everyone says clean up is super easy and holds great. I hate the mirror slide !!!!! Works well but messy. If Stickit tape eliminates that ,wouldn't that be great ! PS.....yea...if a guy is OCD , wearing his hair will be frustrating for him because this is not a perfect science.

Excellent post for the newbies! It would be good if this was pinned to the top.

A lot of the things you're not finding so easy will be ironed out with time. The color mismatch is something you can fix if you learn how to colour the hair yourself. I color my own hair every 3 weeks and the piece hair about every 5 weeks. This keeps both exactly the same colour so there's never a worry about colour being off, even in all sorts of light.

The feeling of the piece on your head when you're in bed goes away too. And almost all of time, you won't be aware of the piece being on your head at all.

I still wear hats a lot too because I don't like the wind messing up my hair. But I wore hats for that reason when I had a full head of hair in my teens. If it's really windy outside I'll be wearing a hat regardless of if I'm wearing or not. I've never had one of those low, narrow foreheads that some guys have and they can let the wind blow the crap out of it and still look great.

Yea, me too. I looked like Donald Trump when wind blew my hair...Not Fabio.

rashton-83
what a Beautiful insightfull post, loved reading it.

wearings not the problem, its attitudes towards wearing.

how many docuumentaries have you seen on the subject of wearing,on mainstream t.v
tons of material on u tube,

maybe its a cultural thing , country by country acceptance ect

It is not widely accepted for a few reasons. By nature, most want total privacy and secrecy, so advocates are less likely. There's also stereotypes, because the noticeable pieces in the past have looked ridiculous and were joke-worthy.

I think that's ok though, most people don't realize how good it can be and therefore never suspect a thing.

Most people are not hair waring police and dont really ck out other peoples hair unless its really is just toooooo obvious. We are our own worst critics and we do ck out other peoples hair. If your hair passes your reality test.... it passes.