Great first attempt and i agree that something is slightly off?
To my eye the hair is maybe just a little too far back, the hairline contour is too straight and the density is too high.
If i can offer some contstructive critisism and some advice.
If it were me i would drop the density by 20% and opt for a 'C' or an 'A' shape contour and bring the whole system forward by 1/2" - 1".
Sometimes little changes make all the difference.