matthew, don't wear. Honestly, based on the way you sound I would say that you are, in fact, not at all a good candidate for a hairpiece - any kind. Just shave your head or cut it short and move on. Best advice you're gonna get here man

If you get a piece you are going to obsess about it and hate it and eventually you'll stop wearing anyway. Why waste your time, money and energy on it only to take it off and go all natural? You are too freaked out about it and trust me, you won't get over it, you'll always be freaked out.

Like ba says, "this game ain't for everyone". You most certainly fall into that category.