First of all, knots at your hairline is not a "small" issue. C'mon, if you plan on showing your hairline it should look real. If it doesn't it doesn't make you "paranoid".

Secondly, in regards to stylists, just go in to a nice high-end salon (or mid level) and get your hair cut by a professional stylist. What's the problem? I agree with you that the cut/style is the most important thing (assuming your color is a match). I also agree that the "hair replacement" styslists for the most part suck as we hear so many bad stories. That's why I don't go to one. I go to a real hair stylist. You think a pro stylist won't know how to blend your hair? That's ridiculous.

If you want to do it right and look your best, attach your piece well (as well as you can so the hairline is glued nicely and everything looks decent), and then cut a few inches off the hair so it's not crazy looking, slick it forward or back and walk into a salon and tell them you want their best men's stylist to cut your hair. Then you sit down and tell that person it's a wig and what kind of style you want and let them do what they do. Another option is the robo cutter. Which option do you think will have you looking the best? lol

Take the stress of cutting your own hair and just have a good stylist do it, in a real salon, and don't be afraid to tell them it's a wig. There's nothing to be embarrased about. Of course, it takes about a week for a piece to settle in IMO. Right after the cut it can be a bit poofy and unmanagable, but that goes away quickly and that's when things really start looking good.