Yes, that looks better. I would trim the hairline back about a quarter of an inch (just basically cut off the black line) and as Jayson said, soften the point at the front slightly. I am not sure you need the temple flaps - I thought your temples looked OK in your first template - but it doesn't do any harm to add them. You can always trim them off if you find you don't need them.

Best of luck, and let us know how it turns out.