To reduce shine you might want to pick up a small bottle of Jojoba oil from Vitamin Shoppe or another supplement store. Just a couple of drops on damp hair should dull down the shine. It's also very good for the hair.

As for ADDING shine, pick up a hair polish or serum that contains phenyltrimethicone, which is a silicone that is used to add shine.

Between the two of these it should help your problem. might take a little experimenting, and these two products are miscible (soluble) so you can even mix the two to get a different result.