Thanks for the response. I know I'm being a bit irrational and certainly have a ton to be thankful for in life. I hope to put these feelings behind me and be care free about wearing. I guess I'm a pretty good actor as I am able to behave 100% normal around her and others. So she's not seeing much, except maybe I'm a bit bummed at times. She's pretty amazingly loyal. We have been together for a long time. It's the time alone where I dwell.