The trick is to find the right product.

I have a cabinet full of stuff and I rotate different products out depending upon my mood. You have to experiment until you find stuff that works for you. Processed hair doesn't react the same as growing hair. I have probably thrown away twice as many products as I actually keep and use.

If you want something that gives you that kind of in between look, try a putty. Pay attention to the label. It will usually tell you what kind of finish it gives.