Bangless Wrote:

eupe124 Wrote:Leamon: I will be doing the same thing I suppose. If at some point I have to tell, then so be it, but it could be I never have to then I'm glad I didnt.

Jonesy: Thanks for the advice man. Its true, a second opinion is very usefull but I should be able to handle it.

If your girlfriend was keeping a similar secret from you and then you found out/discovered it later, how would you feel? Might you feel that she should have had the confidence in your feelings for her that she could have shared her fears and vulnerabilities with you?

I get not wanting the world to know that you wear (or about to wear). But I think it's even more important not to become so obsessively guarded with this "secret" that you start walling off very important parts of who you are. At that point, the sense of shame surrounding your hair loss is exacting too great a toll. Losing one's hair is not a shameful thing -- unfortunate (for many), no doubt -- it's not a character flaw. As so many have mentioned here, wearing should be fun and liberating, not a hairy bandaid for a damaged psyche. You can wall yourself off only so much before the self-punishment borne of secrecy is worse than a Norwood 5000.

I remember when Willard Scott, the now ancient weatherman for the Today Show, used to take off/put on his hairpiece in the middle of a segment with a huge grin. The whole world knew and he couldn't care and the whole world thought nothing less of him, his fans probably loved him more for it. After all, there are few things more attractive than someone who's comfortable in their own skin even if part of it is covered with someone else's hair.

PLUS 1.000,000,000

this whole idea of trading in one anxiety for another worse one seems rather strange. I tell everyone if and when the subject comes up. All my friends,workmates and family know. I make jokes about it. I am confident because it does not look like the stereotypical rug. I enjoy the look on a strangers face when and if hair comes up and I tell them how much Iove mine now that its paid off.........In a nutshell I believe by not treating my wig a dark dirty shameful secret I am more confident and less afraid of being "outed" Its impossible to out the outed. People pretty much forget I wear. They don;t care and neither do I.

I ride a motorcycle with a helmet in the Winter and without in the Summer. I once pulled the wig off when removing the helmet in a Mall parking lot lol People saw this and tried to pretend they did not see it. I knew they were busting inside. I just looked at them with the hair hanging out of my helmet and said//"oh the wife always the practical joker. I pocketed the hair and went on like I never wore. No way was I going to panic and try to put it on my head. now THAT would be something to laugh at. Needless to say I stopped trying to get three weeks out of an attachment. LOL.

You bald head is nothing to be ashamed of. When People ask me why I bother wearing if Im going to tell them I say "look at this face.....it's a work of Art...Like it or not a work of art such as this deserves a frame" End of story.

BTW people who really believe no one knows are fooling themselves. People do know. If one senses it they will ask another etc etc...but no one will have the nuts to ask you since you are not forthcoming. They can mess with your mind though. Nothing causes more anxiety with a hair wearer in a crowd then the subject of hair.