Jonesy123 Wrote:When she first told me she doesn’t think about us in a serious way I was psychologically devastated for about 3 weeks, told her not to call me since I’m heart broken and talking to her is too painful. Now she suddenly changed her mind… the ball is in my hands and I’m not sure what to do.

Just curious: What changed her mind?

More to the point: I hear your hesitations and your fears and I respect them. Have you considered individual counseling/psychotherapy to air out these issues with a flesh and blood person? (Message boards can take you only so far.) Or if you're already in counseling, are you taking the initiative to confront these darker concerns? At some point, and only when you're ready, a leap of faith is going to be necessary. You surely don't want to be in this psychological rut for years to come. I think you're wise to choose for that to happen with someone -- quite possibly a professional -- that you can trust not to shoot you down. You're looking for, and deserve, unconditional support from someone.