Quote:How old are you, Jonesy? One of the things I've discovered in my advancing years is that perception of a person's appearance is far more influenced by one's personality than you would imagine when their young. (This may seem obvious, but it becomes even more so as mature.)

Actually, I’m close to 30 (!). I’ve spent all of my 20’s out of the dating scene, mostly out of (or, let’s be honest, just because) insecurities related to my looks. My friends and family call me “the monk”. I actually look much younger so I don’t feel like I’ve lost too many years, and I didn’t really “lose” them, I dedicated myself to my career and got some good achievements.

What made me reconsider my “monk” status is that pretty girl I talked about. She made me realize I’m missing something that shouldn’t be missed, especially not for the reasons I gave myself.

My father told me recently (after he found out I’m going out with that girl) “Jonesy, I don’t know where have you been for so many years, you were fine until the age of 16, but then, at the age of 16, something happened”. Well, at first I thought what the hell is he talking about, why 16 ???, but then I remembered that exactly 14 days before I was 16 years old, for the first time I saw I was losing my hair, and the immediate thought that came to my mind is I’m going to look bad, very soon (as I said earlier I have a close family member who lost her hair very young, it started exactly when she was 16) . The sad truth is that almost 14 years later, I can still show a head full of hair (with a combover and some concealers), and still look decent, yet I still think I’m going to look bad, very soon (but now I can do something, for a change).

Quote:Your girlfriend's (let's call her that for convenience) obsession with appearance is, obviously, a window into her self-esteem, or lack thereof.

You are right, she is obsessed about her weight, obsessed about the condition of skin on her face (only 24…), I mean it’s crazy to look so well yet be obsessed about your looks so much (yet who am I to speak…).

Quote:So let me close by slightly modifying what I said previously: It's easier to add hair to a balding head than it is to add emotional IQ to a damaged psyche.

True.