(09-04-2011, 01:46 PM)anubi5 Wrote: If I didn't care about detectability it would be easier to attach with tape at the front but having to glue the front to make it more real is a pain in the ass.

Yeah I think thats the OP's problem, you should tell them as sometimes you dont want to make things perfect all the time and it can be a real pain in the ass.

Younggun
You realy inspire me. !!!
keep this atitude and you will never have a day in your life where you think "fuck the fuck off"

Alot of my realy good friends know that i wear, just because i dont give a damn fuck and told them the truth and my life is extremly easy with this atitude! No one of them has ever made a joke about it, realy i am glad to have such good friends. It is just some stupid hair, not more not less.

Even no one of my friends will ever read this, but I love you guys.Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

it is crazy, realy crazy because my friends are extremly rude if it comes to things like baldness, but i never heard a wig comment. Never! They make laughts about realy everything like weight, jobs .... but they never ever did it about my head.

They make jokes about alot of my proud bald shaved friends, but never ever about me. Maybe it is because it told them the truth and i said the world fucked on my head and just want to fix itand they should help me.

And realy they did!

(09-04-2011, 04:03 PM)jordo06 Wrote: Honestly man... I know what you are going though. As a gay man, it can be odd wearing a piece. Especially if you are young. Gay guys can be shallow and it sucks... We have to watch our weight, our hair, our body hair, our words... I mean it can be overwhelming... I usually wait until I know if a guy is "real" or not before I say anything. There are guys out there who would think you are lacking if you wear hair, however, most of the dudes are not. Just enjoy how you feel with hair and work to know who the good guys are! They are out there... and way more than you would think. My boyfriend tells me that he thinks I am sexy bald.... but I like wearing hair and he is cool with it! Just as their are shallow gals, there are shallow gays! LOL... the trick is waiting until you know! BTW... I really appreciate all the guys on here who make supportive comments! It's great to have honest, cool, forward guys on this forum!

So how about when you's are being affectionate? Does he treat your hair as though it was normal hair or does he purposely avoid running his hands through your hair cos of a fear he'll pull it off or to him it might feel strange or feel strange to you? That's what I would love to have, someone that I feel comfortable being around with it OFF and ON.

For the bad part :
Well, I'm quite in the same situation. It's been hard for to get in a relationship since I've reached an obvious state of hairloss. I do wear a full cap. It is just so much stress. That much that after the next one that I should receive soon, if I don't make any progress to get it right I'm just stopping (it's already my fourth unit and I keep them for about six months). I did try to get over, to say "it doesn't matter, people may know it who cares?" but I feel pressure everyday and sometimes I don't even go to the gym club or hang out with friends because my hair bonding is just a mess and it is itching as heck but to take it off, to clean itand put it back would take me a couple of hours. It is just depressing. I think I need a routine set at a regular time, but life being life, rushing, pressure, and work don't allow me to have that time, I just go home, look at my messy all gelled up and bonded hair and I feel like it's time to sleep^^. Now I take the hair off on a daily basis, wash it, put only tape and hide the hairline with a fringe like I am some sort of hippy dude. And in this case there is no way to touch it, it's just so fake, if it's itching, be aware, you might have the "helmet" wig effect while you're scratching. Just wondering how to do the transition between a full head of hair and a close shaved head with a balding pattern (and I don't even know if I am able to do it)

For the good part :
No one ever told me anything but compliments, people just want to touch my hair telling how soft they look. I do look better with it, no doubt. But sometime you have to accept that looking good (I truly feel ugly with my balding pattern head) is not what you need at the moment.

Well, it didn't help in any ways but I needed to voice that as it is an issue for me too^^.

Peace to you all.

(09-04-2011, 06:08 PM)misterD Wrote: For the bad part :
Well, I'm quite in the same situation. It's been hard for to get in a relationship since I've reached an obvious state of hairloss. I do wear a full cap. It is just so much stress. That much that after the next one that I should receive soon, if I don't make any progress to get it right I'm just stopping (it's already my fourth unit and I keep them for about six months). I did try to get over, to say "it doesn't matter, people may know it who cares?" but I feel pressure everyday and sometimes I don't even go to the gym club or hang out with friends because my hair bonding is just a mess and it is itching as heck but to take it off, to clean itand put it back would take me a couple of hours. It is just depressing. I think I need a routine set at a regular time, but life being life, rushing, pressure, and work don't allow me to have that time, I just go home, look at my messy all gelled up and bonded hair and I feel like it's time to sleep^^. Now I take the hair off on a daily basis, wash it, put only tape and hide the hairline with a fringe like I am some sort of hippy dude. And in this case there is no way to touch it, it's just so fake, if it's itching, be aware, you might have the "helmet" wig effect while you're scratching. Just wondering how to do the transition between a full head of hair and a close shaved head with a balding pattern (and I don't even know if I am able to do it)

Thats how I feel sometimes, especially with a bad cap. Iv had 2 guys run their hands through it and straight away gone "oh wow, why does your head feel rough like that"... They can feel the lace and knots, one actually asked if it was a wig.

This thread has certainly `hit a nerve`. I guess it goes to the root of why we wear in the first place..... for me, it`s because baldness does NOT suit me,especially at my age. Younger guys can and do `get away with it`and the bald look suits them fine. In a perfect world none of us would have to wear--sadly that is not the case, so, the next best thing is a cosmetic solution i.e. wearing. This will ALWAYS have it`s down sides along with it`s up sides. I totally `get`how intimate situations or meeting new potential partners of whatever gender brings wearers face-to-face with the dilemma of `do I wait to get busted or do I fess-up first`... no matter what base-materials you wear, you will always `worry` that it will be detected--- anyone considering this whole wearing game will have to factor this in to their plans as it is a major thing. We are all individuals..younggun`s attitude is very refreshing and I do admire his `Devil-may-care` attitude ;-) but it`s not the same for everyone. I guess it`s really down to self-esteem and all that goes with it.... it`s not a matter of vanity as such, it`s loss of self-esteem which goes with the loss of our hair..it`s a very complex thing and I`m no psychologist--I can only speak frankly from how I feel about the whole thing. It can be very very depressing for guys,especially younger guys, to lose their hair..it goes VERY deep into the psyche.
misterD--- you have pointed out some of the `positives`of wearing.... it sounds to me like you need to `look`at your attachment methods and importantly, your actual products, as you should not have constant itching etc. What base-material are you wearing ? I honestly feel that if it were me and I didn`t wear or have to wear and someone told me they wore--it wouldn`t bother me in the slightest.... but then I`m more interested in `the person` and not superficial things such as wearing..... I wear for `me`mainly, as baldness is not `kind`to me, and to hell with what others think..... at my age, relationships etc. are not such of a concern really but I totally understand that younger people who are `in the market` for a partner would be very very concerned with the dilemma of being busted or `outing`themselves as wearers first. My attitude is [ literally] hold your head up high, wear your hair for YOU and how good you look / feel while wearing --- if there`s a decent human being lurking under that system that`s all that should matter to anyone....if a person/partner can`t see `beyond`your hair well, that say`s more about them than it does about you.Cheers all, Paul.

As a gay man, I will say the scene is so much about appearance! It's a catch-22 for gay guys... you need to have hair, but if your hair is not real you seem weak. Lots of guys are about appearance at first, but many just "play the gayme." I am only 28, but have been balding since I was 16! Most of the dudes I have dated, were awesome guys who didn't care... however, there have been guys who I know would, so I passed them over... if they cared that much, I figured I did not want to be with them anyway!

(09-05-2011, 02:49 PM)jordo06 Wrote: As a gay man, I will say the scene is so much about appearance! It's a catch-22 for gay guys... you need to have hair, but if your hair is not real you seem weak. Lots of guys are about appearance at first, but many just "play the gayme." I am only 28, but have been balding since I was 16! Most of the dudes I have dated, were awesome guys who didn't care... however, there have been guys who I know would, so I passed them over... if they cared that much, I figured I did not want to be with them anyway!

THANK YOU for saying what I was thinking but couldnt be bothered going into the detail... That is so right with the gay population and its lame ass... We're finiky about appearance like women yet we lack the sympathy and respect for others feelings (most of us anyway) and that's whats giving me grief and why I posted this thread.

MisterD:

I am strongly considering going the full cap route as my own hair is shot and every time I look at it relative to my topper it just gets me so depressed. What's more is that I had transplants (lots of them) over the last 15 years which has left me with a scar and some scalp issues so shaving my head, which I have done, isn't a great option for me. I have come back to wearing hair for the 4th or 5th time now. But every time I end up with the same issues and the cycle continues. I absolutely hate the fact that I have to wear. The money and the time and the stress is just so much. However, like I said, I don't really have another option at this point which is so depressing. I'm in a catch 22 and have been for most of my adult life. I know my friends and family wonder why I prefer to be alone so much, why I am constantly making excuses to not be social, why I am 36 and have no gf or wife, and it all adds up to a pretty damn heartbreaking existence. Posts like youngun's and Paul's really inspire me, I just hope I can nail this wearing thing finally (psychologically and in terms of skill). Like Anubi5 said, I want to not care, I wish I could not care, but you can't really force it, you can't always tell yourself how to feel.

Anyway, I got off track there, but I wanted to ask you: what is so difficult for you about wearing a fullcap. What do you find is your biggest barrier to getting efficient at it and happy with the way it looks? I know that when I get good attachments and I look good, I'm really happy and couldn't care less about wearing. But when it looks bad my whole world view changes for the worse. Unfortunately I haven't gotten to the point where I get consistent results. When it looks good I go out and feel like a new person, like my true self, but like I said, it's seldom that that happens. Most of the time I just wear a hat because my hair is looking like crap. I'm still holding on to the belief that it's my ability that needs to improve and then I will be ok with it. I think wearing for some of us takes a lot of hard work to get right. Others are craftier and take to it much more easily. I've committed myself to get good at wearing before I write it off for good.

(09-06-2011, 06:23 PM)expriest Wrote: MisterD:

what is so difficult for you about wearing a fullcap. What do you find is your biggest barrier to getting efficient at it and happy with the way it looks? I know that when I get good attachments and I look good, I'm really happy and couldn't care less about wearing. But when it looks bad my whole world view changes for the worse. Unfortunately I haven't gotten to the point where I get consistent results. When it looks good I go out and feel like a new person, like my true self, but like I said, it's seldom that that happens. Most of the time I just wear a hat because my hair is looking like crap. I'm still holding on to the belief that it's my ability that needs to improve and then I will be ok with it. I think wearing for some of us takes a lot of hard work to get right. Others are craftier and take to it much more easily. I've committed myself to get good at wearing before I write it off for good.

My full cap issues are getting a flawless front hairline both in attachment and shape in manufacturing, also irritation from the tapes right on the section behind and back from my ears and nape with either blue liner, no shine and this week also found that some old ST 30 tape I had is causing irritation. Super tape doesnt seem to cause irritation but its quite thick and I cant get a perfect transition at the nape if someone ran their hands up my neck. Going to try Stick It tape which I just ordered. Also getting a nice density without having large visible knots.