Look, you're not committing a crime, you're not trying to hurt anybody, you're not leading a double life. You're not affecting anybody else but yourself.

All you're doing is making the best of yourself and attempting to solve an issue so that it doesn't get on top of you and interfere with your personality or relationship.

If hiding it from her is making you anxious, thats not good for you and not fair on her.
Tell her and explain your reasoning.
Has she told you you look better recently?
If so, explain to her why.
Everybody needs a bit of support and explain that you would always want to support her in the decisions and choices she makes.

It might help you to have someone close to you that understands and that you can confide in.

If you carry on being anxious around her, you could easily drive her away.

You have two ways you can go about it.
You can tell her confidently and casually, like its no big deal and possibly then she won't see it as a big deal either.
Or you can explain from the heart and tell her what a big deal it actually is for you and get her sympathetic understanding.

Either way, I think you'll feel better and relieve some of the pressure you're putting yourself under.

Thanks for the response. I know I'm being a bit irrational and certainly have a ton to be thankful for in life. I hope to put these feelings behind me and be care free about wearing. I guess I'm a pretty good actor as I am able to behave 100% normal around her and others. So she's not seeing much, except maybe I'm a bit bummed at times. She's pretty amazingly loyal. We have been together for a long time. It's the time alone where I dwell.

I decided to post on this thread as my situation in some part the same as the original poster.

I started losing in my later 20's, I started to grow my hair out and then used concealers all looked good apart from not having a fashionable haircut.

There was only 1 person who actually said something about me losing hair, fortunately it was someone in my family I rarely ever see, infact I havent spoke to him in years the rest of our family are close.

The problem is I may see him in the next couple of years at a family occassion.

I know he'll mention my hair (well 90% sure)..

I should point out I wear a really small piece its only a small strip for the hairline the rest is my own hair and I mix my own hair in with it so theres no chance anyone could ever know. Its a perfect match and its so tiny that I would place a bet no-one on here wears a smaller piece its tiny, so I'm never anxious about wearing or anything like that.

Now I've been doing this for many years so the rest of my family dont know any different, but as I havent seen this relative for a long time I know he'll say something...what do I say?...its not the fact he'll say something to me, its the fact I'll probably be with other family members who would be surprised he brought it up because they would have no memory of me losing hair.

On a one to one basis I could handle it no problem but its the idea of his comment planting some doubt in other peoples minds that worries me.

I thought about the 100 different things I could say to respond to any comment he might make, but I think the best way is just to deny I lost any hair....and because he is bald maybe throw it back in his face like ....'dont be jealous I'll give you a bit the next time I have it cut'......make a joke of it and dismiss it.

what do people think?

I know in the whole scheme of things its hardly something to be too concerned with, family, friends poke fun about others all the time its harmless fun and I can give and take it no problem, but this particular possible situation does worry me a little...theres plenty of terrible things happening in the world and a silly comment by a relative is insignificant but i would jut like to get peoples opinions.

thanks.

I doubt he will say something, and if he does just say you took medication for it. Easy.

I'm still really bummed. I think it's because I "gave up" on my natural hair and those feelings from years ago of being robbed and being inferior are creeping up again. Also my dependence on this thing is a little overwhelming, and I can't find a local stylist.

I have decided to tell the lady. Not sure when. She knows I've been in a depression lately and wants to know why, but she doesn't bug me. She's pretty amazing all things considered. Usually I'm the strong one in the relationship and comfort her but this is a bit of a role reversal.

I'm pretty sure he will he's that kind of peson, my answer will depend on who's around, on my own easy but with other family members admitting taking med's would be admitting I suffered hairloss which would be news to them, so I think just throwing it back at him and making a joke of it would be the best...anyway back to your situation.

I think everyone can understand your feelings about being depressed its really accepting hairloss thats the key.

Its one of those things theres a lot worse things out there, to me its great that there are options to solve the problem.

I wont go over what others have said.

For me it comes down to how I feel with the piece and how I feel without it.

Without it my hair is a nightmare, I can just about pull off a look of no hairloss but the style is terrible, so I feel terrible and think about it all the time and hate meeting new people.

With it I look so much better, I dont have the worry of spending hours infront of the mirror, and this all makes me think about my hair a lot less and I can feel good and get on with things.

Theres no question its the best thing I've done for my hairloss.

Look, tonnes of people do various things to make them look and feel better this is just one, for example my friend (girl) goes to the hairdressers and gets loads of hair extentions put it, this takes hours and hours but no-one cares its just what women do. I also think once you've told her you'll feel more relaxed, as time passes it just becomes part of your life and you barely think about it, once that happens I think spending less time on forums is another positive step, its great to check in every now and again but i think if you spend too much time on forums it just makes you think about your hair more.

the fact your wearing it brushed down with product would make it virtually impossible to detect, unless the colour and thickness is totally out, sometimes I think people should grow their sides out more unless your wearing a fullcap of course. I think your a little paranoid, people look at people as they pass in the street,I do and I'm not looking at their hair its just a natural thing to do. You have to start getting a little tougher...its your life no-one elses

You need to concentrate on the positive side of it not the negative. Imagine if you had no hairloss but still concentrated on all the negative things that happen to you in your life....but people dont they accept them or they do something to change it.

Its quite strange that people can handle other negative things but hairloss they just focus on, makes no sense does it?

Theres 2 options you have (3 if you do ht's), either accept and dont wear or wear.

You also have to get perspective, there are terrible things going on this is pretty insignificant when you think about it.

Whatever you decide you will have to approach it in a positive way.

good luck.

Totally understand the anxiety thing. I started wearing about 2 months ago. The hardest part is going from no hair to a full head overnight. I usually wear a hat so strangers and acquaintances never really saw me without hair. My close friends know I'm bald. The anxiety for me came from the transition. The hairpiece looks really good now (it did take a month to get it right, mostly because my sides were so short in the beginning).

I can say, I still have some anxiety but its a lot less now. If you don't show your front hairline, there's almost no risk of detection. There's no way the wind or anyone could take it off your head without serious injury.

The only insure I have is that the seams are noticeable to the touch but I've been using a stock piece and hopefully the custom piece I received this week will fit better so the tape doesn't bunch up.

Anyway, have fun with it!!