+- Toplace USA (https://forum.toplace.com)
+-- Forum: TopLace Forum (https://forum.toplace.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=3)
+--- Forum: General hair replacement discussion (https://forum.toplace.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=4)
+--- Thread: New in Town (/showthread.php?tid=5605)
New in Town - Yorkie82 - 01-23-2013
Hello everyone. I've been lurking on here unregistered for a while now and feel ready to sign up and start contributing. I'm at the point with my hair loss where I have two viable options open to me. the first is to shave my head and get on with the rest of my life and the second is to go down the route so many of you have and to wear a hair system.
The ideal option would in many ways be a transplant but from years of research I know full well I'm not a great candidate. my donor hair is certainly not thick and dense enough to successfully replace my entire head should I eventually progress to a NW/6/7 which is pretty likely in the long term so chances are I'll just end up incomplete and still dong what I am now, which is using concealers and clever and careful styling to give the impression I've got a decent head of hair. I've recently turned 30 and it's made me realise I need to do something about this. I started receeding at 18 and its obviously gone downhill ever since, so my 20's have been a pretty miserable time in a lot of ways and I'm not prepared for my 30's to be the same. I need to take back some control. The way I style my hair is all to prevent people from seeing the extent of my hair loss. there is no fashionable look to it. It looks the way it does out of necessity. Just full of concealers, grown longer (I cut it myself) in strategic places so that I can cover up the worst areas and then nailed down with hairspray to stop it moving in the wind etc.
I've been on propecia for nearly 4 years and although it has slowed down the hair loss (well at least I believe it has as you can never see what you would have looked like without it), it hasn't stopped it. the thinner it gets the harder it is to style it and I'm at a point where it really can't go on any longer. So, do I shave it off or replace my thinning hair with a system. Although I have a head shape that would pull off the shaved look, and it would make every aspect of my life much easier, I just know that shaving won't give me the feeling of happiness and contentment that I desire. I don't want to be bald! that's the bottom line. shaving it off is highly likely to just give me further feelings of insecurity, unattractiveness and vulnerability. Also, the amount of effort and skill I put into styling my hair gives the illusion that its not that bad. to the untrained eye it could look like I've hardly any loss at all so to go from that to a very receeded and thin shaved look would appear that I've lost a lot of hair overnight which would cause me so much anxiety I doubt I could walk into work the next day and face people.
So......it looks as though its option number two and a hair system. I've been researching loads on this lately, on this site and others and feel as though I've picked up enough knowledge and understanding to know that this could work for me. The problem is that in a dark corner of my memory I recall an experience that I swore to myself i would never revisit.....I've worn before. Back in 2005 as a very naive and vulnerable 22 year old I was taken in by the celebrity endorsements, fantastic promises and incredible before and after photos of Advanced Hair Studio. I was young and I was stupid. I hardly asked questions, did no research other than look at their glossy magazine they sent me with pictures of previously bald blokes with full heads of hair. looking back at those days I should never have been there. I'd kill to have hair like that now, but I truly believe that a bit of recession in your teens and early 20's can be just as, if not more, soul destroying as being completely bald later in life. being young and going bald was extremely difficult to deal with and so that's how i ended up there. I was having this new treatment, this "non surgical skin graft", even when they told me my hair wouldn't grow anymore i didn't really understand what they meant so imagine how I felt when they shaved my hair off, stuck a dead cat on my head and sent me on my way. Don't get me wrong, i attach no blame to the company or the people i dealt with. Its a business at the end of the day and I insisted that i wanted what they were offering. it was my fault, i was naive and I rushed into it.
What made it ok was that aesthetically the unit looked pretty good!! My hairline was lowered slightly, the thinning area was suddenly thicker and the colour match was awesome. I looked better and felt better instantly. The problem was how the system felt to wear. it was like wearing a hat all the time, it was heavy, uncomfortable and not particularly a good fit for my head shape. But the worst thing was the huge bump I felt when I ran my my hand up the back or side. I couldn't rest my head on the pillow at night without it raising up at the other side and the thought of someone touching my head filled me with absolute dread. if i scratched my head it felt and sounded like i was scratching a plastic mesh sieve or something. it was horrendous. I couldn't live with it and at the end of the second month I decided it had to go. I let my hair grow back under the piece for a few weeks then ripped the thing off, threw it in the bin and never went back there. That system cost me nearly £3000 and it took me a long time to pay the debt off my credit card. I swore after that experience that I would never be so naive and uninformed again.
When i realised after years of thorough research that a transplant wasn't going to be the path for me for various reasons I started (against my own advice) to look into systems and hair replacement once again. I saw the images on this site and told myself it was the same shit, just a different company and that the pictures weren't all they were cracked up to be. Something had changed though, when i had that rug back in 05 you never really saw pictures of exposed hairlines. Mine had that look of hair growing from nowhere and looked a bit dodgy, whereas these looked incredibly realistic and as though the hair was growing out of the scalp. I carried on browsing and found the forum. I have to say that this community has some of the most knowledgeable, helpful and welcoming people. the amount of information I have picked up from 3 months of researching (lurking) on here has been unbelievable and has convinced me that if i go about it the right way I could possibly look the way i want to and be happy in my appearance. there may be hope for me after all. I have pretty much decided that i have to try it again. The worst that can happen is that its 2005 all over again and I end up shaving my head which i'd eventually have to do anyway. I won't have a horrendous scar in my head or be thousands of pounds worse of so let's give it a go.
I'm nervous as hell about it in truth as not every story on here is a perfect one obviously, and as quite an anxious and wary person I have days where I tend to focus on those potential downsides and the worst case scenarios. In general though I find myself being quite excited about the prospect. the obvious doubts that i assume most people have of; Can I really do sports in it, can I really go on a rollercoaster in complete confidence, can I do all the maintenance myself competently, will i get a decent bond time out of it, will my hairline really be near enough invisible etc. as i'm looking for this to enhance my quality of life not reduce it, and cut down the amount of time, consideration and obsession I give to my hair not increase it. People being able to see it, feel it etc. how will I cope with telling future girlfriends (single currently), will i be able to find a stylist who can do a good cut in. Despite my research I can't answer these questions. i'm not looking for anyone to provide answers by the way I'm being rhetorical and I know the questions are extremely subjective. But those are the main doubts and worries I have and possible reasons not to do it. All i know is that I have a window of opportunity that will pass me by if I don't act. I intend to make a template and order my system within the next few days/weeks, and in doing so hopefully regain some control and move towards getting my life back.
Anyway, apologies for the long post. I started writing and just got carried away. Its easy to do when you are on your own with all this and can't vent your frustration, share your fears and experiences or gauge people's opinion because you've made it your life concealing just how bad the situation is...Literally!! I just wanted to say Hi and thank you in advance for what i've already learned from reading the posts on here and the site in general. I'm glad I found this place!! Wish me luck!
Yorkie
RE: New in Town - jeffs - 01-23-2013
You are in a similisr position to me at your age I was growing my hair long it looked like a tumbleweed on my head but for wahtever reason I was ok with it.
But it go to the stage I hated it and I decided to wear, that was about 6/7 years ago. I have lost quite a lot on top but what I have left is quite thick and wavy, so all I do is grow my hair out and wear a tiny piece at the front, I could easily wear a bigger piece but I prefer to see a lot of my own hair, Its great I have much more confidence now and all those hours and hours spent infront of a mirror have dissapeared, its silly really when you think about it, so many positives to wearing so few negatives.
You do need to start focusing on the positives, to me wearing is brilliant, is it the perfect solution? No but its damn close. Its not so much dealing with wearing but dealing with your hair loss, everyone does things to make them look and feel better this is just one of them.
Good luck.
RE: New in Town - Hersute - 01-23-2013
Welcome Yorkie. Great post.
I was in the exact same position (20 years ago) that you are in now.
I hate to think what my life would have been like if I'd not decided to wear.
Within reason, it gave me my life back.
Its an old cliche' but true none-the-less, its the things we don't do that we tend to regret the most.
At least these days its not the huge financial investment it used to be and as wearers we can be more in control of whats going on our heads.
Those heavy scratchy monofilament bases are a thing of the past and the lighter laces are nothing short of a miracle.
It WILL take some getting used to, but hopefully for you, the mental & visual improvement will encourage you to persevere.
Good luck and keep us posted.