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+--- Thread: Am i wrong? (/showthread.php?tid=5460)
Am i wrong? - bamac22 - 11-11-2012
Ever since i my hair started thinning out i can barley stand seeing myself in the mirror. ive gotten better over time but it still sucks. I have been looking into this hair wearing thing for probably over a year now. and honestly im scared, it seems so intimidating. Glues,tapes,bonds,oxidation,cleaning,re-bonding. You see the point im getting too, But i don't want to be insecure about myself anymore. Im pretty confident and humorous but whenever i see that receding hairline and thin spots its like a punch in the gut, i hate feeling like this because i feel VEIN and like im obsess with looks or something. But im not, i just like to feel good about myself, inst that why people work out or use make-up or dress nice? Im sorry for the rant, its 3am where im at right now and i just got to thinking about this stuff. All im asking if theirs anyone on this site who is going thru or has gone thru what i have, please let me know how it worked out for you. I just need some reassurance that im not getting myself into something that's not for me.
RE: Am i wrong? - foras - 11-11-2012
It's not that hard as you think it is. I'm 23, had been using concealers from 18 years old till a month ago that I switched to wearing hair. I was pretty scared at first too but I said what do I have to lose? If anything goes wrong you just short buzz your hair and wear a hat for couple of weeks. Really happy that I did the switch, I should of done it earlier and not be depressed everyday about how thin my hair is..
There is nothing wrong with wearing hair, you don't like something about it and you fix it that's all.
Like I said i'm 23 and live a really social life, many friends + long relationship girlfriend + family. Only two people know I did something to my hair and that's because I told them no one else has no clue whatsoever.
Maybe you can send some pics, blocking your face, so we can gve you tips and guide you to the right density etc..
Anyway don't overthink it at the end of the day it's just real hair tied to lace - simple as that.
RE: Am i wrong? - Hersute - 11-11-2012
Bamac22,
Most of us, have been through, or are going through exactly what you are feeling.
I hated the way I looked without hair so much I truly believed my life was over.
I don't mean like suicidal, but I just thought that was it, I'd spend the rest of my life hiding away or under a hat.
I even sold my house to pay for a series of operations, having my head cut open and hair moved about.
That was 20 years ago.
Believe me, a bit of glue and a few more hours in the bathroom is nothing compared to all that discomfort, expense and disappointment.
Yes people will say we're crazy and being over dramatic about our hairloss. Who cares what they say?
All I know is that I've had a great time the last 20 years and I wouldn't be able to say that now, if I hadn't taken the plunge and started wearing.
I got my life back.
At the time it was the last thing I wanted to do and I DID have anxiety in the first year of wearing.
But looking in the mirror, and liking what I see with hair, has kept me going.
My regret is that I didn't start sooner.
I believe the longer you do nothing about it, the bigger the anxiety gets and the more difficult it can be to keep perspective about it all.
So in my opinion, the answer to your question is "Yes, you are wrong".
Doing nothing and letting your fears paralyse and depress you is wrong.
How many personal success stories have you ever heard where the the narrator says "I found myself with a problem, I did nothing at all about it and it worked out great in the end"????
RE: Am i wrong? - Xeon005 - 11-12-2012
My hair ruined a lot of my life when I was younger. not only was i going bald but I was born with a high forehead that looked terrible and horrible horrible ratty frizzy hair. It was a complete mess besides the hairloss.
I have to give myself credit. I approached hair systems with more excitement than fear. I looked forward to a solution that would fix my problem. I read the forums and learned the basics and ordered and looked forward to the new solution. I am not sure why I wasn't scared or worried but more excited.. perhaps it was because I focused on the end result.
All I can tell you is that everyone is different.. but you should know there are young guys on here and all kinds of people who wear them successfully and are happy about it. so you know its possible. You just have to be patient and get in the right mind set. Say you know what ill give a shot, what do i have to lose.
All you need is a little common sense.. good vision and a little basic knowledge of hair systems. I think the biggest thing is common sense. I don't mean to be rude, but some people just have no common sense and those are the ones who might have the hardest problem. I was a 19 year old kid who never wore a hair system before, and had a pretty nice transition into wearing hair. Now I cut my hair systems myself.. i do everything myself and dont need to rely on anyone. I have friends who would abuse the shit out of me if they knew I wore a hair system a nd they don't have a clue. I been wearing since early 2000. So just know a great look and freedom is possible and try to get rid of the fear and apprehension. focus on how you will look and feel with the new you. and tell yourself if that idiot xeon can do it successfully all those years why the hell can't i?
RE: Am i wrong? - Hersute - 11-13-2012
Inspiration=
http://forum.toplace.com/showthread.php?tid=5451
RE: Am i wrong? - standbyme - 11-16-2012
I also think people don't think for themselves and they just automatically use societies view of hair pieces as their own view...i.e. Its to be mocked.
But if you are your own man, able to think for yourself, then you will relaise that hairpieces are no different to women wearing makeup, or people buying nice clothes or jewelery etc etc....All these things are done to make us look and feel better.
I was pretty depressed 6 months ago but now I wear a very small piece that has changed everything.
It hasnt solved my hairloss I still have lost hair but now I dont look like I have, and isnt that why people do the things I've stated? Women dont wear makeup and feel ashamed...they do it because its part of life...routine..they feel better because they look better by hiding the ageing process, I think its easy to over think it, its pretty easy really...
I had a choice either to carry on feling miserable or do something about it.
That doesnt' mean hairpieces necessarily it could been transplants, pigmentation, concealers, thickeners, or even shaving and just accepting the change. People are different and will choose different options but its important you do something it can be very empowering to do something positive.
Hairpieces was the option I chose, it was just the quickest, easiest way for me.
Good luck in whatver you decide, take comfort in the fact its really only hair and there are a lot worse things people have to cope with and not only that there are lots of things out there that can help you.
RE: Am i wrong? - Hersute - 11-16-2012
I spent so long feeling miserable and sorry for myself.
The thought of wearing a wig depressed me even further.
I was so set against them.
But you're exactly right standbyme, that wasn't my opinion really.
I was just reflecting the opinion society had instilled in me.
It wasn't until I saw a hairpiece first hand and placed it on my head that I realised it was actually do-able and wouldn't look ridiculous, and in fact looked a thousand times better than when I had a bit more hair and used concealers.
Bamac is also concerned about the hassles of actual day-to-day wearing, but again until you try it for yourself and get the pay-off of looking and feeling better, you won't be able to get a true perspective of what the maintenance regime entails.
All I'm saying is, its got to be worth a try for anybody feeling their situation is hopeless.
And remember it was only a couple of hundred years ago that no fashionable man would think of leaving the house without his wig, rouge, white face powder, beauty spot, heals and stockings!
RE: Am i wrong? - bamac22 - 11-20-2012
hahah thank you guys so much, Your all an inspiration to move my life forward. im making the template and im doing this! herstute its awesome that you have a sense of humor about this. I know it can be dramatic but at the end of the day, we all need to be light heated. thank you all so much, i cant wait to post pictures!