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+--- Thread: New To All Of This- My Story (/showthread.php?tid=5299)
New To All Of This- My Story - b82 - 07-09-2012
Been checking out this forum for a while now and thought I would share my story.
I’m 30 years old and have been losing my hair for around 4 years. At first it was the crown, but my hairline has also began to recede while the rest looks like it’s starting to thin too.
My initial reaction was denial. I was only 26! Then a few friends made some comments, and I knew it was real. I tried Propecia but that gave me side effects. I currently use Rogaine to try and regrow my crown at least, but I know that’s a losing battle.
I’ve started using Toppik, and to be honest, it’s worked a treat, but again, that’s only going to be ok till I lose more hair.
I’ve thought long and hard about my options and these were what I came up:
Hair transplant (Too expensive, can’t give you the coverage you want)
Shave it off (I don’t want to be bald)
Scalp Micropigemntation (What will it look like in the long term? Don’t want the shaved head look)
Hair system
I want to be honest and say that sometimes I feel bad and guilty for worrying so much about losing my hair. There are people who are going through far worse things than this. I do wish I could just shave my head and move on, but I just can’t. I don’t want to be bald, at least not yet. For me, I have a vision in my head of how I look, and bald isn’t that.
Again, I want to be honest and say sometimes I think I’m crazy for even considering a “wig”, but I’ve been blown away with some of the pictures on this site. I have dreams about having a full head of hair again! I’m sick of living under a hat. Trying to avoid being photographed. Feeling self-conscious ALL THE TIME!
I think I could get away with Toppik for maybe another 18 months but that’s it.
Anyways thanks for listening guys, and I have so many questions for you. Thanks!
RE: New To All Of This- My Story - Paul In Ireland - 07-10-2012
A reasonably ` common` tale/ experience......99% of us wearers have/ had a similar situation.
Takes a while to, firstly, accept the fact of thinning/balding,then investigating ways to slow/stop it......concealers work well for a while, but the inevitable onward- march of balding, will eventually defeat concealers........ and secondly, to decide on the plan-of-action.
If I was you, I`d decide to wear sooner, rather than later......that way, you won`t have the problem of people who know you suddenly noticing something ` different` about you and the inevitable awkward ` questions` . If you accept you`re going to have to wear in 12-18 month`s time, you might as well ` head it off at the pass` and just do it now. Cheers.
RE: New To All Of This- My Story - Amstat - 07-10-2012
For me, I finally broke through the cacophony of social stigma and looked at it from a logical viewpoint. Concealers, hairstransplant, shaving the head are logically just an attempt to hide our baldness just like a piece. Difference; the piece will look a million times better, be able to be styled, worn in the rain, take less maintenance and bring more confidence.
Don't let left over social stigmas created by the bad wigs of yesteryear, cloud your intellectual choices today.
RE: New To All Of This- My Story - Hersute - 07-10-2012
I agree with everything that has been said so far.
We've all been there and all had to make the mental adjustment to wearing hair.
Its not necessarily easy at first, but once you've nailed it and received the compliments I know most of us get, things will turn around for you.
You'll begin to have your life back and that constant fretting about your hair that never seems to presently go away, will slowly fade.
Wearing a wig was the very last thing I ever wanted to do.
But it doesn't leave me permanently damaged like my transplant did or scalp tattooing would and it doesn't come off on the pillow case or run in the rain like the concealers did!
And if I ever wanted to, I could take it off, shave my head & be back to square one.
But I don't want to because the wig has given me better hair and a younger appearance than my fading, falling locks ever did.
I lost my hair at about the same time as you and tried all the meds available at the time.
I can't guarantee that wearing hair will be 100% perfect for you, but I can guarantee its worth a try.
And like Paul says, sooner is better. I wish I had started earlier and hadn't spent some miserable years under a hat.
RE: New To All Of This- My Story - b82 - 07-10-2012
Thanks for all the comments!
I've only began wearing concealers, so at the moment I'm trying to get my friends "used to" seeing me without a bald spot. Nobody has said anything yet which has surprised me. I don't want to go from balding to head of hair out of nowhere, so to speak.
That was one of my questions: how do you "transition" to a piece? If I started wearing tomorrow so many people would wonder how I suddenly have hair! With the concealers I've been using a little so that it still looks like I'm balding, but I'd slowly like to use more till it looks like my crown at least, is full. In regards to my hairline I realise that I would have to have it receded so that it doesnt look unrealistic.
I guess my biggest fear about wearing is "getting caught". I also don't want to replace the worry of trying to hide my baldness with worrying about people noticing I'm wearing. I would presume this is a common concern for newbies like myself!
Again, thanks for the words guys. I'm nervous, worried and excited, and all your kind words and experience are greatly appreciated.
I'm from Scotland so I'm very fortunate that I can get away with wearing a beanie a lot!
RE: New To All Of This- My Story - antywanty - 07-10-2012
just really repeating what every one else has stated, "ditto"!
transitioning to oneside*, when it takes longer to style youre hair using concealers then youve came to the end of the line and really need to make the change,
*cant really leave the transitioning stage @ that,
its kinda crucial to get it right, earlier so theres no major diffrence , ie somethings Diffrent between now and then,
dont keep relying on concealers,as a argument against wearing or putting the decision off,
take it from people who have been through the proccess,
take control of it, dont let it control you
regards
anty
(21 months wearing , partial"topper")happy as could be
RE: New To All Of This- My Story - Sidney_Matthew - 07-10-2012
I was in a similar situation to you with being concerned about people knowing. I lost the majority of my hair (on top) right out of high school. No one ever mentioned it to me but I eventually noticed my hair would grow to a certain length and stop. I did the shaved head thing for awhile and liked it, but it made me look much older.
I looked at the surgery options and they're just too expensive for such a thin density result. I eventually learned that we had an Apollo hair center close by and I eventually became one of their clients. I had no idea that you could do hair replacement online so I believed every word they said. They gave decent results but the cost was too high.
I left work on a Monday with the typical horseshoe hair that the majority of men have and returned on Saturday with a head full of hair that looked great. Some people noticed and some didn't. The ones that noticed were of course bald and only brought it up because they were envious. If anyone asked what I did, I told them. If they liked it that was fine and if they didn't that was okay too. People get LASIK eye surgery, breast implants, liposuction, Botox, nose reductions......
People do these things to feel better about themselves and be more confident. If it makes you feel better others' opinions shouldn't make decisions for you. The point is, the sooner you do this and see how much better you look, you won't worry about what others think.
Sid
RE: New To All Of This- My Story - Hersute - 07-10-2012
"I guess my biggest fear about wearing is "getting caught". I also don't want to replace the worry of trying to hide my baldness with worrying about people noticing I'm wearing. "
You will have this fear initially, its inevitable, but gradually it dawns on you how little the people closest to you actually take notice.
But, I believe how soon you get used to wearing and not being worried is in direct proportion to the build up of paranoia you develop BEFORE wearing.
Hiding under hats, avoiding strong lighting, turning down invitations to things you can't keep your head covered at, thinking people are staring at your head/hair.. etc etc etc... all builds that paranoia and the more its allowed to go on, the longer it takes for the normality of wearing to become comfortable mentally.
Its so easy to believe that just because you stare at your own hair and think about it constantly, that everybody else is too.
Its simply not the case.
So if you are already experiencing some of those symptoms, act sooner than you currently think is appropriate.
RE: New To All Of This- My Story - Paul In Ireland - 07-10-2012
You can order a relatively light-density system first, and gradually order ` step-up` densities on subsequent orders, so the transition will not draw attention..... but the longer you put off wearing, the harder it will be to carry it off without unwanted ` attention` ..... not saying you have to do it next week, but I would certainly do it before year`s end.
RE: New To All Of This- My Story - Black_nail - 07-10-2012
I'm a little bit younger than you (27) ... i've just started wearing this year, and i really wish i started wearing years ago. To be honest, my balding isn't very severe yet.. just a receded hairline.. but even still, i am SO happy wearing a piece.. i get to have the exact hair i've always wanted.
Like others have said, i would recommend you go with a lighter density piece with some recession in the hairline.. but a really great trick that will 'fool' people is, order a piece DARKER than your natural hair and color your back and sides to match it. When you go to work for the first time, people will see a change and assume it's just that you colored your hair. So long as you get the hairline right and show plenty of scalp.. people's minds will never go "He's wearing a wig"
Good luck mate.. The fact that you've found this site is the first big step.. i'm excited for you.