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+--- Thread: 2012 - a new year and time for a return and a change. (/showthread.php?tid=4923)
2012 - a new year and time for a return and a change. - kevinme - 12-28-2011
Hi folks
This will probably be a bit long, so I apologise in advance for the essay,
I'm at present 29 and I plan on 2012 to be the end of my hair issues. I'm not saying it will be perfect but I want to 'move on' finally.
Well, I registered here a few years ago and mostly as a reader of the forums with the intention of wearing hair. I had been considering this option for about 3-4 years as I seen my locks moving further back and now in the past 2 years thinning out a lot.
I wore concealers for a bit but I got fed up of them and as the hair diminshed, they were most likely looking obvious. I was a norwood3.5 (nearing 4)
So I ordered a couple of wigs from a long-debated rival and that process was tedious, long and nearly drove me off the whole hair-wearing game, but they arrived after sometime and I felt a mixture of emotions.
The hair sat in the box for about 1-2 months before I opted to do anything about them. I was a bit of a wreck, everything from the cut-in, ordering glues, thinking it would be too difficult to obtain a great look and to the in's and out's of wearing a cool haircut. Sounds a bit bizzare but I was all over the place.
So I went and met a great woman who did my cut-ins and applied the hair to the head. I felt great but extremely nervous. I left the salon and hoped it would be my new life of hair, yet it lasted 12hrs on my head.
I walked down the busy street and I must have looked possesed - I stared at everyone's eyes to see if they were looking at my hair. No one did and on a busy Saturday afternoon, I passed many people, haha.
Although, I felt great, I was very nervous. I took the train home again no funny looks from anyone or the train conductor who I spoke to for 5-10mins about sports. Nothing happened.
Although, I did begin to feel slight movement at the front and maybe it was a bad gel/glue that I applied but I didn't feel totally confident and there was small lift at the front.
I had arranged to meet a friend that evening for a beer and my journey to his house was when I began to have the fear. My stomach began to churn, I started to feel uneasy and a bit weak. I arrived at his house and he smiled, said nothing about my hair apart from ''Funky doo!'' as I hadn't spiked it up for years (my trademark was spiked hair at the back before it got thin) and never did he stare at my hair, and believe me, I was paranoid, but somehow my head started to bulge and I still felt ill. I was so nervous about going out and meeting people in brightly lit bars with hair on my head. I stayed for one beer at his house and decided to go home as I had a pumping headache.
10mins after leaving his house, I felt fine. I knew this was because I could go home to my house and not seen anyone and not feel aprehensive.
Once I arrvived home, I decided I wasn't ready to wear hair.
I even managed to take it off that night which added more so to the decision as I felt that the strong glue (either it wasn't applied well enough) wouldn't even hold the hair on properly and with an active lifestyle, it re-affirmed my belief that I wasn't ready to wear.
So the hair came off and I shaved my head. I was going traveling in 4 week so I lived like that for a few months when I travelled and shaved with a razor once a week, to be honest, I don't mind the bald look and I think I look ok with it and received some compliments, but after some months, I became bored of the look and felt I could not wear the same clothes I used to wear, I missed having hair and felt that I wanted to have hair again. I tried a few things a 1/2shave, even a mohawk but a mohawk, is more a temporary fun hair style.
So, hahaha again sorry this is taking so long and really boring to read but it's a nice way of venting
and opted to grow my hair in again. I decided to cut the sides and grow the hair on top (to give the impression of hair) it looked ok ish but again, I am now a NW3.5 so I missed a hairline and i went back to wearing concealers. And then it went full cycle, my hair upto a few days ago was back on top but I was pent up throwing money on concealers again, taking a stupid amount of time just to get ready to go out face the world, pumping lots of hairspray on and even then, one guy said to me ''Looks like fake spray hair'' to a friend about me or something similar, which was the killer final blow that I need to quit these concealers and I was busted.
I also knew, I wasn't happy wearing them - the money, the time consuming, the grubby mess of a white shirt/pillow, the anxiety of being busted (especially in a brightly lit area).
So I shaved my hair at the temples and now have a mohawk (again).
OK, I will finish up soon (again thanks for sticking with me, if there are any readers still out there
Now with 3 days to 2012 - I've slowly returned to my old lifestyle of hats, concealers and now after desperation really, I shaved my head at the sides.
I am going to give hair wearing a real go and I feel much stronger mentality even from 1 year on about it. I know it's a last resort for me also as I cannot return to concealers again, my hair is thinning to much and they look terrible.
I have a perfect timescale as I am working from home at the moment so I can wear a few hats for the time until my hair starts to grow back and in 1-2 months, I will begin to wear.
Slowly the beanies will be replaced by hats then to me with hair again, and ifanyone even asks, how can you grow your hair or anything, I feel confident to say that it is a system, I want to have hair and my natural hair is losing so this is the final option.
Finally, I want to say to anyone on the fence. Go in with an open mind. I know it is not going to be plain sailing and I know there will be many highs and a few lows with wearing but life is short, do not waste life and time worrying over things that are outwith your control(mostly) hairloss. With a system, I feel it is the best option for those of us who want hair without the risks to our health and with toplace, these great forums and the internet, the world is my oyster.
I looked forward to hanging around and learning as much as I can. I will need to re-order new glues, tapes and I will order a new wig from toplace - My current one is possibly too much density at 75% and go for a 65%.
I'd also encourage anyone who's been living like me to if they can, take 2012 by the horns and decide that this is the year that your worries and time used up by worrying about a process we can't control to take control of it.
Thank you for reading and thank you for such a great website with tips and hints and topics for people who were aprehensive and nervous, with the great posters and tips here, I feel I am READY to wear!
Here's to 2012, folks
RE: 2012 - a new year and time for a return and a change. - Paul In Ireland - 12-28-2011
Hey Kevin .. I was wondering where you had vanished to..... I`m not totally surprised at your [well-told] story..... this wearing game has so many `emotions` attached to it... sometimes a `false-start`can happen and maybe a person leaps before they are truly ready and psyched-up for it..... the wheel turns slowly, and it sounds like you are now in a better `place`to deal with it, so this time will be easier and your attitude now is correct..there`s no shame in wearing....it`s becoming very `normal`now and shouldn`t raise any eyebrows like it used to....I think all this stigma started back in the 60`s when those awful `rugs`first appeared...they were even advertising them on TV in Ireland at the time....lots of older guys went for them but you could spot them a mile away and they gave this whole wearing game a really bad image,especially when the guys obviously didn`t maintain them ....the mere mention of a `wig` would make people laugh....times and technology move on..thankfully we are now living in times when this is much easier and a lot cheaper and the internet has revolutionised our independence, so having dipped your toe in the water, you`re obviously now ready to dive in fully..... regards for a while, Paul.
RE: 2012 - a new year and time for a return and a change. - Ruulkasar - 12-29-2011
your writting skills are excellent. I enjoyed reading your story^^
Yeah to move on to stuff, which you fear is allways difficult. My thoughts during the first 2 weeks as i started were filled with 1000000 worst case scenarios. But nothing happend, even my cousin, who knows me my entire life didnt looked at my hair^^. I mean he knows that i am balding and he is balding too, but he didnt care.
As soon you are used to it, everything will be easy. I mean as i was dating with girls i said them normaly on the second date that i was wearing lol. They all reacted nice and my current girlfriend even told me a secret which she would have never told me at this time^^
So just keep your head up and see the world easy and everything will be fine
RE: 2012 - a new year and time for a return and a change. - ToplaceUSA - 12-29-2011
You guys have touched on a good point. And that's the mental part of the game. You gotta be ready to wear hair and make up your mind that wearing hair will be better than being bald. You should be comfortable with the idea of wearing hair first before you put a unit on your head. There will be some uneasiness at first since because it's a change. But as you become comfortable with your new image so do others--some don't even notice. I've always thought that something was missing that would complete me. And that's what wearing hair does--it completes you. And I think that's why some people don't even notice the change.
Regards,
John
http://www.toplace.com
RE: 2012 - a new year and time for a return and a change. - lzlmt - 12-29-2011
I have one system which no one has seen me wearing yet....waiting for my second to arrive.
After years of thinking about this...I am ready!!!
2012...Hair I come!
RE: 2012 - a new year and time for a return and a change. - kevinme - 01-01-2012
Thanks and good to hear you are going to give it a go too in 2012.
My plan now is to wait I suppose for the sides to grow in. My two pieces are rather thick or unless I order a thinner template but I really hope to be wearing by Feb at least.
And giving this hair-wearing, a real go.
I think somehow it seems easier psychologically because I have shaved my head previously and I've tried rogaine (not fin, but I'd never touch drugs anyway) and concealers. All in all, apart from HT - I've given it a bit of a go and keeping hair and my remaining hair is recding and now thinning. So, it's last chance salon.
Happy new year to all.
RE: 2012 - a new year and time for a return and a change. - ulao - 01-08-2012
The first day I put a wig on from TL was one of the worst feelings ever. I felt I just made the biggest mistake. For me I did it when I knew I was going to be home for a few days.
Here I am, saving off my hair... I see myself in the mirror... First sign of regret. Then I add glue to my skull... Second sign of regret. Here I am holding this fake head of hair wondering how I then heck I'm going to pull this of... Third sign of regret. After its on it looked horribly curly and just an utter mess. Fourth sign of regret.
Now I knew to expect some of this, as I read a bit before I commuted. I then wet the hair and styled it. Trim a bit here and a bit there, staring to feel better. Did a bit of combing and I then felt a bit ok about it.
Now here is what cleared it all up for me. For some of you this may have came a bit later ( or will come later ) but for me it was instant. I mean you bound to know some one close to you that knows... You see I had commuted to this while in a relationship. So on the other side of the door waited my girlfriend. Her response was quite reassuring. I dont think I have to tell you what happened next.
Yes this is a weird feeling, but what could one expect, its fake hair, of course its going to feel weird. In the long run, you can kiss the feeling of baldness goodbye. From that point forward learn how to attach well, learn to free yourself of paranoia, and get on living your life. 9 times out of ten they dont know, even if your sure they do. Because there is only one way to know and that is to see it come off.
RE: 2012 - a new year and time for a return and a change. - folliman - 01-08-2012
In my opinion most of the fear of wearing hair in the beginning is due to piece that has too much hair/too dense. You are shocked to have so much hair, that you go paranoid about it.
So, it's best to start with a system that has nicely bleached knots , no more than 55% density so that you can see through the system. It looks like real hair growing out of your scalp.
Do not expose the hairline i the beginning, especially with anything other than Swiss lace. French lace is nearly impossible to hide from up Extremely close. I know b/c I've been wearing for 7 years or so, and I"m good at doing everything from bleaching my own knots, to cutting stock bases down to fit my head. With French you have to cut the front lace down to the hairline or it's going to be a battle to hide it.
The new HD lace is supposed to be better than swiss. That is going to be the ultimate in undetectibility. But, in the end if your not willing to eventually tell the people your closest to even after showing them a really nice see through piece, then you are not the type of person that is ready to wear.
Even though I'm pretty comfortable, I have my moments, but that's mostly due to people wanting to touch my hair, which I still have to get over, b/c I'm confident they wouldn't notice unless the started picking at it like some girls like to do when they see a gray hair. lol Even then most people wouldn't notice.
Also it helps that my mother cuts my hair. So, I never have to go out in public to get a hairpiece cut in.