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+--- Thread: Did you tell your partner that you were wearing? (/showthread.php?tid=257)
Did you tell your partner that you were wearing? - kevinme - 11-23-2009
Just wondering how most folk got round this.
I know some people are easy going to tell their partner right from the get-go that they are wearing, but how did you do this?
I've not really broached the subject with my Girlfriend yet, we've been dating for 4 years and we are pretty solid together and get on great. We have a great relationship. Last few months I have been wearing hats a lot, but she has not asked or commented and I'd have told her if she did, I think. She's really out-going and very liberal and I know she'd understand, it's just for some reason I'm finding it a bit difficult to tell her for some reason, I know she'll be really cool when I do tell her, she works as a volunteer co-ordinator, and does seminars on social intergration and is really cool.
I was ready to tell her one night, and was all-set to do it, and we were working on Seinfeld Series 7 box set when the episode when George gets a Hair club for men terrible toupee haha came on and it kinda knocked my confidence a bit about telling her, I was thinking she'd imagine that I'd look like that once I started wearing. She'll probably joke ''You are higher mainteance than me'' or something when I tell her in a joke way.
Now, she's away until after Christmas - she's back working i her home town which is 900miles away, but she's moving to my area after Christmas.
So, do I just get the system attached, and see what she says when she comes back for New Year?
Or tell her, but it seems quite hard to tell her over the Internet or on Skype?
Or do I wait til she comes home and hopefully my hair will be looking good and just wait until she asks? it seems maybe a bit dishonest that I'm making a big decision on my looks without informing her, but I do think it'll make me look better.
Just curious to figure out how some of you guys on here told your friends/realtives about wearing?
I am pretty easy going and open-minded about wearing, and I think probably through time if I can master wearing it and getting it looking good - that i'll probably just tell people that I do wear, if they asked me, but it's just getting it out and telling her first.
I think I'll tell her, but don't know when to do. I'll explain how unhappy I feel with my hair balding/thinning and how much older I think it looks and how happier I think that I will he with hair.
Ok, rant over and I will shut up now
but if anyone has any tips or advice on how to do this would be cool.Thanks for reading folks,
Re: Did you tell your partner that you were wearing? - leamon - 11-23-2009
Honesty is always a good start. Yes, do express your feelings about how thinning makes you feel. From the sounds of things, she seems like she will be supportive. Perhaps you guys can start brainstorming about possible solutions. Then, you can discretely tell her you've been researching on Toplace, and ask her if she would like to see some of the results. I think once she sees the incredible results, if there are any apprehensive feelings, they will dissipate.
The only person that knows I wear is my girlfriend. It was very hard to tell her, but one day...I told her. I am not as courageous so I told her via a letter. I wanted to give her time to let it digest and sink in. I wanted her to have time to think about the revelation.
In the end, she was very supportive and actually appreciative that I shared such personal things with her.
Good luck!
Leamon
Re: Did you tell your partner that you were wearing? - Encouraged - 11-24-2009
I dated my now wife, for over 2 years while wearing fibers in my hair to conceal a balding spot in the back.
I had enough hair that it was not noticeable. As we became serious and I starting thinking about asking her to marry me, I finally told her that I was going to buy a system. I started off by showing her this website and another website and all of the amazing looking pictures. I also provided her with a brief overview so she could understand the way the systems work. She was amazed at the quality of the pieces and how realistic they can look. She appreciated me being honest with her. She was so cute... she even offered to help me put int on. I told her that I didn't want her to see me bald (now shaving head to attach). I told her I only want her to see me with hair. I asked her to be my worst critic to let me know when something doesn't look right. She told me that she would support me in this and if I felt better wearing, she was 100% behind me.
Had we not decided to get married, I might not have told her. There is always the risk of the relationship going sour and a vendictive woman telling all of her friends about the hair piece.
John
Re: Did you tell your partner that you were wearing? - kevinme - 11-25-2009
Hey Thanks for the help Guys.
Sounds good the advice - and similar to my situation for you two guys about telling your partner.
Only thing really a problem is that we won't see each other until New Year so I aint sure if it's the right type of topic for MSN or
Skype on how to tell her about it.
She doesn't know that I am worried about hairloss, but she maybe has figured but hasn't said. I've looked at hairloss sites and photos on her computer so it'll be in her googlebar history etc.
I think I might just go ahead and get the hair done, and then when she arrives in Jan and hopefully tells me I have a nice hair cut I could tell her then?
Your partners sound really cool and very understanding about wearing. I think most women would be cool about, some of them even do it.
There's still such a stigma about wearing though, but I think it's more to do with the classic rug look e.g the 20% density sides eroded away with the 85% on top haha, but it's their fault for having such a bad wig and not research enough on it. I was chatting with some friends last week and somehow we got onto the topic of wigs and they were all slating people for wearing, I have not told them tht I inted to wear but it was all laughter etc but I don't think enough people know about how good wigs can look if done right.
Re: Did you tell your partner that you were wearing? - summerbreeze - 11-25-2009
hey kevinme
yeah like you i also intend to start wearing pretty soon, and those old rugs are a thing of the past, the systems these days look amazing , granted that you do get them from a reputable company like toplace. i think it is impossible to tell if someone is wearing a system, or if it is their own hair. i have looked at loads of pics on this forum and id say 99% were undetectable. i was getting depressed about my hairloss , untill i discovered this forum, and since then i feel alot more at ease , because i now know that i have found something that will look as good if not better than what my hair was before it started to thin.
iv been thinking about that situation too , when would be the right time to tell a gf, and to tell you the truth it dosnt really bother me, as many people have said girls wear make up, false nails, some have fake boobs and get lots more cosmetic surgery. besides they reckon the amount of guys getting cosmetic surgery in the last 10 yrs has had a dramatic increase .whats the crime in trying to make yourself look better, i think most woman would embrace it, like your gf is not going to complain if you start going to the gym and get yourself a toned bod. its the same with a system, if you attach it properly get a good cut in , then its going to look totally realistic , you will look great and more importantly you will feel alot better about yourself
alot of the guys on here have said that before they told their gf or wife about wearing , the girls had not got a clue, and i think thats the key, if they think its your real hair and it looks realistic, then they obviously they will think wow it looks good so who cares.
Re: Did you tell your partner that you were wearing? - tokerjoker123 - 12-07-2009
Yea, it can be pretty stressful trying to tell someone that you wear. Especially your partner because you are afraid what they'll think and if they still want to be with you. I had thought about telling my girlfriend of over two years that I was gonna switch to a system because I was balding very fast. I was using Dermmatch and she knew about that and she knew that I was sensitive about my receding hairline and thinning crown, however she always said she couldn't tell, but that was because she never saw me without dermmatch when it got bad. I started asking questions as I started considering a hair system. I would randomly ask her "Would you still love me or care if I wore a hair system?" And she would say no and that she wouldn't love me any less. As the switch to a system was becoming more necessary I would send her pictures from this forum of how great they looked to get her opinion. I told her that I was going to get the system and she was very supportive. I have been wearing since August and she has been totally cool. She says that she always forgets that it is fake hair unless I mention my removal appointments. That just shows how awesome TL units are, especially cuz when I first got it she examined it pretty thoroughly and could not find anything. She was scared for me and how I would feel about it when it was attached, not what she would think. I often think about if I hadn't been dating her for so long before if she would have felt the same though. If you have a partner that likes you for who you are then you're set. I havent told anyone else and I think I would have gone crazy if I didn't have someone to vent my stresses about it to. Telling someone about it is the most relieving thing ever. Good luck man!