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+--- Thread: handling a certain social situation (/showthread.php?tid=1363)
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handling a certain social situation - dino - 01-03-2009
I have a group of friends who hang out together a lot, men and women all in their mid to late 30's, some of whom are thinning and most of whom are greying. I have never told them I wear, and I don't think they suspect me of wearing (but you never know for sure). Every few months while sitting around the table eating a meal, one of them will bring up the subject of greying. Then they take turns showing their gray hairs. I always start to get anxious when this happens. At age 39, I am wearing a full cap and haven't had gray hair put in yet. So I am the only one in the group without any gray hair. I will usually say I have a little gray but I use Just for Men. Sometimes someone will say that I'm lucky I still have all my hair. I say I know I am. But inside I feel nervous, because I don't know if they suspect me to be wearing. Is it okay on my part to handle it the way I do? Or do I owe some level of truth?
Re: handling a certain social situation - ruffryder - 01-03-2009
I get a similar situation almost everytime I eat with my family. My dad's side of the family has a long history of male baldness that sets in at ~25 years of age. I'm now in my late 20s and I was no exception to this, but I have done something about it with toplace.. But when the topic of baldness comes up at the family dinner table, as it often does, it almost always ends up with a joke about how I should be "careful" since I am at the age of onset (as if being careful helps). It makes me feel terribly awkward, and reminds me of how cruel it is to make jokes or laugh at people who are bald / balding. I don't think I owe it to anyone to tell them about what I've done. The only one who knows is my girlfriend at this time, and she's the only one I plan to ever let know..
Re: handling a certain social situation - Snipe - 01-04-2009
lie til ya die...it's your business and any way you determine to handle the situation is the right way, feel strong about it. I handle that type of thing the same waxi
Put it this way Dino, before I knew you, that first time I saw you I thought you were someone's husband or something, I was trying to figure out who wore and never suspected you were wearing. Even when we were talking for a while, I had no idea you wore until you told me, 'It's not even attached'.
Re: handling a certain social situation - BA707 - 01-04-2009
Snipe Wrote:lie til ya die...it's your business and any way you determine to handle the situation is the right way, feel strong about it. I handle that type of thing the same waxi
Put it this way Dino, before I knew you, that first time I saw you I thought you were someone's husband or something, I was trying to figure out who wore and never suspected you were wearing. Even when we were talking for a while, I had no idea you wore until you told me, 'It's not even attached'.
I agree Dinos hair has always looked superb everytime I have met him, But you have come to understand like I did when he explained to me, Fact is that he has been busted so it is always going to be in his sub consious its not so easy for him to handle this type of situation. Dino I honestly dont think adding approx 5%-10% grey would be a bad thing, Actually it can add a extra touch of realism.
Re: handling a certain social situation - dino - 01-04-2009
Thanks for those compliments, Snipe and BA. I do feel good about my hair these days. And yes, BA knows my history of being busted in no uncertain terms many times in my earlier days of wearing. The worst one was over a decade ago in a mental hospital that I worked in when the elevator door opened up and a patient in a wheelchair took one look at me standing there and yelled out, "Is that a toupee?" right in front of several of my peers. I could give a long list of crazy things like that from over the years, but that's for another post.
I think Snipe is right that it's nobody's business, so this kind of "lie" (if you even want to call it that) is probably not the kind that is morally repugnant. I don't think it's hurting anyone. I also think that the first line of defense before misleading others who ask invasive questions in general is to say something to deflect the question like, "didn't you ever learn that it's not nice to ask invasive personal questions in a social gathering?"
Re: handling a certain social situation - JRob - 01-04-2009
Snipe Wrote:Put it this way Dino, before I knew you, that first time I saw you I thought you were someone's husband or something, I was trying to figure out who wore and never suspected you were wearing. Even when we were talking for a while, I had no idea you wore until you told me, 'It's not even attached'.
Haha.....if you remember that night we were out when you guys were in town, my business partner thought EXACTLY the same thing. He looked at you and Dino and and thought you must be brothers/husbands/friends of people who were attending the convention.
On the issue of grey, you know I'm 37 and I don't have a grey hair in my natural head hair. Some people just don't go grey until later.
Personally, I wouldn't add any. Of course it's one of those things that can add the finishing touch on a piece, but your looks fine the way it is. You look late 20's and everything "adds up"...why change it?
Re: handling a certain social situation - Looksreal - 01-04-2009
Just curious as to why you would not have any greys put in? Even if you had 5% on the sides or all over, it would add to the realism of your hair.
Re: handling a certain social situation - dino - 01-04-2009
Looksreal...I wear a full cap and shave all my growing hair, so I don't have any gray to show. Even if I didn't shave, I haven't yet noticed any gray just yet on the stubble. I'm sure it's just around the corner.
Re: handling a certain social situation - JRob - 01-05-2009
Looksreal Wrote:Just curious as to why you would not have any greys put in? Even if you had 5% on the sides or all over, it would add to the realism of your hair.
It can add to the realism, but it also adds to your age. Not a tradeoff that I am willing to make, at least before I hit 40 anyway. I just concentrate on age appropriate temple points and hairline placement.
Re: handling a certain social situation - TomBongi - 01-05-2009
dino Wrote:I have a group of friends who hang out together a lot, men and women all in their mid to late 30's, some of whom are thinning and most of whom are greying. I have never told them I wear, and I don't think they suspect me of wearing (but you never know for sure). Every few months while sitting around the table eating a meal, one of them will bring up the subject of greying. Then they take turns showing their gray hairs. I always start to get anxious when this happens. At age 39, I am wearing a full cap and haven't had gray hair put in yet. So I am the only one in the group without any gray hair. I will usually say I have a little gray but I use Just for Men. Sometimes someone will say that I'm lucky I still have all my hair. I say I know I am. But inside I feel nervous, because I don't know if they suspect me to be wearing. Is it okay on my part to handle it the way I do? Or do I owe some level of truth?
This is the kind of thing that happens that cause hair wearers to "suddenly need to go to the bathroom": When this kind of thing happens to me and I am called "lucky" (and have been ) to have all of my hair I always say something along the lines of "Yeah money can indeed buy some things" or " Don;t believe everything you see" Which naturally leads to a conversation about hair and wearing hair and bad hair and mostly surprise which is always followed by a handful of the more follicle challenged to show extra interest. I have been told more than once it is EXACTLY THE GRAY that makes it look real because most of the toupees people see are highlight less mats of flat hair on older men's heads. Don;t run from some gray. It might be what saves you from being suspected at all.
People soon forget and move on to politics or religion LOL. But in my case usually there are a few in the social circle who know I wear anyway..
I really could care less what people think about me wearing or not wearing. I care about how I feel about me when I'm wearing depending on where and why.
Transplant victims are far more obvious yet don;t seem to mind becasue it's their own biology I guess.