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+--- Thread: The Psychology of Wearing (/showthread.php?tid=819)
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Sester - 05-30-2009
Tom mate,
I think your approach is best for your personality and mine is best for mine. What i was disagreeing with is when you say that if we dont make our wigs known to everyone, we are being fake and ashamed. To be honest I think your basing your strategy on a premise of fear from the outset. I think if people have seen you before your hair replacement and the change is drastic and obvious, then your approach is best, to the people who know u already. To all other people who u meet first the first time, telling them at every chance you got, is a strategy mainly based on fear. Thats my opinion.
As you said, the only important thing is u are happy.
Sam
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - TomBongi - 05-30-2009
Sester Wrote:Tom mate,
I think your approach is best for your personality and mine is best for mine. What i was disagreeing with is when you say that if we dont make our wigs known to everyone, we are being fake and ashamed. To be honest I think your basing your strategy on a premise of fear from the outset. I think if people have seen you before your hair replacement and the change is drastic and obvious, then your approach is best, to the people who know u already. To all other people who u meet first the first time, telling them at every chance you got, is a strategy mainly based on fear. Thats my opinion.
As you said, the only important thing is u are happy.
Sam
For me only I feel fake if I am forced to lie or BS another. Thats just me. I am proud of the hair so I don;t hide it. I am not afraid of it! the psychology for me is very much different. I have no issue posting my bald head (with no masking) on here and have. Its just not something I feel needs a "figleaf." Now don't get me wrong, I don't wear a sign (unless the hair is looking pretty bad, LOL) But I don't hide it either IF the subject should come up. I confront it and discuss it. Its not uncomfortable for me. No fear involved at all.
I am PROUD of the way I look with it and the way the hair looks and I actually enjoy the shock of another when I do tell them in casual conversation. Its an interesting situation for THEM!! They don't know how to react. LOL. They start looking for telltale signs. I just don't take it all that seriously.. thats all. I go some days without it to the beach or wear a rag to keep the sun burn and pesky skin cancer away.
For me I enjoy a certain FREEDOM when people around me know. I don't have to worry about it.It's liberating. Its just like having my own hair in that regard. People cannot bust what they already know or whisper behind ones back thinking they know something you don't. Which is "they know......but believe you don't know they know and are afraid to let you know they know but want to..........ya see how complex things can get? LOL
I meet new people all the time. In fact I moved from Vegas to Myrtle Beach three years ago and a whole new set of workmates and friends know I wear now. They do think it's dumb for the most part. Maybe they are right, but right now I am comfortable with it. Someday maybe I will be done with it. I would not say my premise is based on fear in as much as its based on wanting freedom from fear. I want to conduct my life without anxiety, The best way to do this wearing hair for me is not to worry about being outed or coming up with BS lines to distract people or change the subject. I want to live as if I am NOT wearing and I found honesty and being openly comfortable with it is the way to do that in my case only. I don't think it will work for others as long as they view baldness as a shameful condition rather then a cosmetic flaw.
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Sester - 05-30-2009
Tom mate,
I do think fundamentally we disagree, but all the power to you mate, and my respect.
About those ppl who said its dumb to wear, to you, dont listen to them, many ppl are jealous of how others look, especially if they look better!and thats probably the case! lol
Sam
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - TomBongi - 05-31-2009
Sester Wrote:Tom mate,Indeed...I understand their view as well though. Especially the bald ones who would never think of going through the trouble. In a way I actually envy THEM!!! Its not like they are all single never marry, never get great woman, or great jobs....Their lives are pretty much the same except they have come to grips with it and have the confidance to overcome what they consider a minor but normal cosmetic flaw rather than a shameful situation
I do think fundamentally we disagree, but all the power to you mate, and my respect.
About those ppl who said its dumb to wear, to you, dont listen to them, many ppl are jealous of how others look, especially if they look better!and thats probably the case! lol
Sam
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Sester - 05-31-2009
Tom Mate,
In the end, we wear to look better yeah? Not because were afraid of remaining single or wanting to get hot women etc etc.
I think its quite simple. I have a brother in law, and hes as bald as a bat, and couldn't care less in the world. lol He wears sports jersys to formal events and has never worn aftershave in his life. He doesn't care about his appearance one bit. And thats good for him if hes happy. But a lot of people, and i suspect you included, do care about how they look, and take pride in that. We know we look much better with hair, more attractive, youthful brings out the best in our personality, and thats why we bother with wearing. The equation for most of us is really very simple.
Bald head= unattractive and unhappy individual
wig head= more attractive, youthful and generally happy individual
Sam
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - downundersyd - 05-31-2009
Sester your right on, I always had lots of hair up untill the age of 19 and it played a role in me getting chix numbers, I was on the decline when I started to recede and now I am back.
Your from Syd as well! Drop me an email one of these days dude
<!-- e --><a href="mailto:[email protected]">[email protected]</a><!-- e -->
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - matthewmatthews - 06-01-2009
I officially bailed on the piece. I'm now skin bald. And I look hideous.
This forum was amazing for going through starting to wear.
Anyone know of a forum for people who have acknowledged they can't wear, and thus must accept their nasty bald mugs?
Ha.
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - TomBongi - 06-01-2009
matthewmatthews Wrote:I officially bailed on the piece. I'm now skin bald. And I look hideous.
This forum was amazing for going through starting to wear.
Anyone know of a forum for people who have acknowledged they can't wear, and thus must accept their nasty bald mugs?
Ha.
A ton if them.....You will be fine. In fact after awhile when YOU forget you are bald and your confidence reflects that, you will think you have a full head of hair.
I am still working on that part and my ability to reveal freely is a giant step toward the goal of not wearing anymore. I am attempting to go where you are. Which is why I purposely recede my hairline more and more. I never want to be in a place where if something catastrophic were to hallown and I lost all my units I would become agoraphobic and not leave the house...LOL
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - matthewmatthews - 06-01-2009
Ha, that sounds like a good place to be. Unfortunately at this stage of being shaved clean, I AM afraid to leave my house. It's a shame. It's amazing how defeating this feeling is. I used to be hyper confident. Now I don't know where you summon that sort of confidence from. It's lame, but I think most of my confidence was derived from the way I used to look, and the positive reaction of the fairer sex. Now I'm so deeply rooted in that, it seems impossible to draw confidence from anywhere else.
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Spartan - 06-01-2009
matthewmatthews Wrote:Ha, that sounds like a good place to be. Unfortunately at this stage of being shaved clean, I AM afraid to leave my house. It's a shame. It's amazing how defeating this feeling is. I used to be hyper confident. Now I don't know where you summon that sort of confidence from. It's lame, but I think most of my confidence was derived from the way I used to look, and the positive reaction of the fairer sex. Now I'm so deeply rooted in that, it seems impossible to draw confidence from anywhere else.
Dude, think of the ugly guys out there with hot girls! They learn't along time ago, if they were going to get laid...they had to improve themselves in other ways.
Apart from teenie girls, most WOMEN aren't into looks as much as guys think. Sure its one of the things thats important, but being confident...in other words, having balls! wearing hair takes balls...it shows that you won't settle and have pride in yourself.