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+--- Thread: The Psychology of Wearing (/showthread.php?tid=819)
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Baldrich - 05-25-2009
Matthew
I agree with the others that from the photos you have posted your new look could definitely just be a change of style - it looks like you just changed your parting and put a bit of mousse in your hair. I think your mates are channeling your own nervousness about your new hair.
Having said that, I don't follow your remark that you are in the entertainment industry and therefore you can't afford to be found out. It seems to me that is the one career where you can afford to be found out and no one thinks any the less of you. People accept that if you are in entertainment you have to look good, and you have a certain licence to fake it which is not given to the rest of us mere mortals. No one is dissing Ben Affleck or Brendan Fraser for the fact that (as is pretty much common knowledge) they wear hairpieces.
You have the option of saying to people, I felt my thinning hair was detracting from my entertainment career, and so I have had a bit artificially added. I think people would take that at face value.
Just a thought.
Ted
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Sester - 05-25-2009
Ted mate,
The contacts i wear are purposely very blue, the way i like them. Many people have said it looks great and asked me if its real,and i say its contacts.I dont wear it to try and fool anyone, its more a fashion accessory. You can get much less bluer ones than i got, and people might not ask if its real or not. I just like this color. Also, i find, eye color is much like hair, it can totally change how you look.. truely remarkable...
Sam
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Baldrich - 05-25-2009
Thanks Sam. They certainly do look good.
I do worry a bit whether a woman I am dating will think I am just altogether too fake if she later discovers that both the eyes and the hair are cosmetic add-ons. That has put me off the idea so far.
Incidentally, there is something I would like to mention to you off-line. Do you have a address where I could email you?
Ted
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Sester - 05-25-2009
Ted mate thanks.
Honestly mate, If a woman thought you were too fake because of the hair and eyes... you REALLY don't want someone thats quite shallow. You could just as easily tell her no more high heels, makeup, hair dyes, fake nails etc etc.
Be smart mate, dont let the mind do you over.
my email is : <!-- e --><a href="mailto:[email protected]">[email protected]</a><!-- e --> Your very welcome to email me
Sam
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - matthewmatthews - 05-26-2009
Hey all.
A few more days with the piece on... things are calming a bit.
Nobody else has noticed, only gotten "nice haircut" and "whoa, you're growing your hair out, eh?". Which is nice.
Now it really is truly down to the psychology of it.
Did anyone else have that overwhelming feeling, internally, of being "fake" or a "fraud" ... or somehow not true to themselves? Walking around thinking people can actually see that fakeness in you, even if they can't tell?
I am a younger guy, so maybe it's more of an issue when at my age, but I would love to hear if anyone else experienced these depressive feelings of self-doubt and self-loathing after making this switch. I would love to hear if that feeling dissolves at all quickly.
I really do like the way I look with this thing on. But I feel strange and somehow empty, like Pamela Anderson *should* feel ;-)
M
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Sester - 05-26-2009
Did anyone else have that overwhelming feeling, internally, of being "fake" or a "fraud" ... or somehow not true to themselves?
MathewMathews, if you feel this now, well...its gonna be much worse later on when things go wrong with the piece and they dont look 'right' for whatever reason.
I dont think there are many people who went from feeling fake and a fraud, to losing that feeling and loving the rug. I would like to know if there are many ppl like that, i suspect not though.
I honestly think your gonna give it up before 6 months. Some peoples minds just cant handle it. For example my friend was asked a question if he would live in his house for 1 year and not leave it for a prize of 10 million dollars at the end. He said no way in hell, he could do it. Now for most of us... i think we could manage that sacrifice for the monetary benefit. We all have our limits. For me and many others, wearing hair is just like wearing aftershave, its that simple.For others, wearing a wig seems fraudulent and deceptive. Personally i could never understand that kind of thinking...but then again i could never understand why my friend couldn't sacrifice 1 year for 10million....
Good luck
Sam
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Spartan - 05-27-2009
Alot of this stuff is due to shame. I mean if your piece came off, you would feel ashamed? Question yourself why...its due to feeling less than others, the embarrassment of the situation. We as humans, are not defined by our hair, physique, intelligence or whatever. We are too comlex for that, by wearing you are challenging other peoples views. Hair is just an accessory, something that makes you feel good, but it doesn't define your happiness.
It's all about attitude dude, most women don't care about appearances, just keep good hygiene and a sense of style. look at the amount of ugly guys with hot women...and these guys aren't excessively wealthy. But with the right attitude and an ok feeling you get from wearing hair, the world is your oyster.
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - matthewmatthews - 05-27-2009
It wouldn't so much be due to shame, but more due to fear of the fallout. What happens if that happens on stage? That's a lot harder to recover from... I can't afford to be known as "that singer whose piece fell off at the climax of the show".
I didnt' think these things "fell off" anymore, though?
I don't have much shame yet, but this is all strategy... I think it's more due to the fear of being found out by the wrong crowd, as people in this business talk, sad as it is...
Sester, I totally see what you're saying too, and you may be right, maybe I'm just not cut out for it. The trouble is, the other option doesn't work well either. Raw deal...
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - dino - 05-27-2009
Matthew...I can relate to what you're saying. I have experienced some challenging feelings very similar to what you describe. Having said that, it did get easier over time for me. It helped me to come to the belief that I am allowed to deceive others about this very personal issue. It does not really hurt others to act as though this hair is growing from my own head. We are taught to be honest when we are kids, but some lies are less problematic than others. This one is fairly harmless, I think. Having said that, I do believe that there is a very advanced stage of hairwearing psychology (that few people reach) in which a person can admit it freely to others. I think JRob, Tom Bongi, and a few others who regularly post here have reached that stage. It requires giving up some ego that most of us hold onto very tightly. There was a guy named Shifty who used to post here. He was a great guy. He used to wear or not wear his piece depending on his mood or the occasion. In any case, I think that the first piece is the hardest. So I doubt you'll be tortured to this degree ever again after this initial stage.
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Spartan - 05-27-2009
matthewmatthews Wrote:It wouldn't so much be due to shame, but more due to fear of the fallout. What happens if that happens on stage? That's a lot harder to recover from... I can't afford to be known as "that singer whose piece fell off at the climax of the show".
I didnt' think these things "fell off" anymore, though?
I don't have much shame yet, but this is all strategy... I think it's more due to the fear of being found out by the wrong crowd, as people in this business talk, sad as it is...
Sester, I totally see what you're saying too, and you may be right, maybe I'm just not cut out for it. The trouble is, the other option doesn't work well either. Raw deal...
Being flexible is the key, I went to a theme park the other day and put on a durag. Also the pieces don't fall off, I just getting you to question what if it did, and so what if it did.
People talk, in any business. That is the harsh reality of life. Read the threads on here and on the old forum, I've spent countless hours researching and its helped. Focus the negative energy into trying different things out and mastering this hair game.