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+--- Thread: The Psychology of Wearing (/showthread.php?tid=819)
The Psychology of Wearing - matthewmatthews - 05-23-2009
Hi guys.
I just got my first piece, started wearing it yesterday. I'm 27. I was one of those dudes who wasn't really "bald", but rather thinning quite badly, but managed to cover it up with concealer and a clever side-swept hairdo. The piece basically lowers my hairline an inch, and provides thick instead of thin hair, so I get good coverage. I still style it the same way, forward/down and to the side. It's still around the same length, except for obviously now a lot more space is covered.
The key for me is not letting anyone know. I'm in the entertainment industry and can't be found out. I have lots of friends who are quite aware of the way my hair used to look, though I never really looked bald or anything.
Initially I was thrilled: it looks incredibly realistic, colour blends perfectly, all of that. There's nothing wrong with the look. Perfect strangers would have no idea. But here are the issues I'm wrestling with this early in the game:
1. Last night I saw my father, who instantly looked up and said "what did you do to your hair? It looks like you have twice as much!". I said "I just got a new haircut, styling it a bit differently I guess". And then he said, half-jokingly, "It's not a toupée, is it?". I tried to keep my confidence and said "no! why would you say that??" When I let him in on it 10 minutes later, he couldn't believe it, and said that if I had kept going with my "new style" story, that he would have believed it. But I can't help but wonder if he's just trying to make me feel better about it. Right after that, I had a beer with a friend. He instantly looked up as well, and did his characteristic half-laugh half-smile and said "whoa, you're looking 10 years younger, something's totally different". And I once again gave the style story. He said "you'll certainly be picking up young girls tonight." And then continued to giggle and look up at my hair. I couldn't help but think that he was totally sure I had one, and just wasn't going to call me on it. Five minutes later it never got brought up again. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. Was it that obvious? Tomorrow night I have a huge event with all of my friends in one room. Am I going to be outed?? Is it that obvious?! Did any of you experience this sudden sinking feeling, half-embarassment, and half-insecurity, that it's far too obvious and that everybody is going to know?
2. Perhaps linked to the first issue, since it's only been ever since the two encounters, but I have had this sudden sinking feeling of depression and self-loathing. Like I'm faking it. Like I'm not being myself. Like I'm kind of pathetic. Have any of you experienced anything like that? I truly do think I look ten times better with this thing on, and I want to keep it, but it's playing psychological games with me... I want to know if these feelings last, or if it's something you grow into and become more confident about.
Please, any advice or suggestions you can relay would be really helpful. This forum is really great.
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Xeon005 - 05-23-2009
I never really felt bad about it. Or like guilty about it. I can understand when u first go through the transition your hair is going to look different to people who see you everyday. Especially if the system really changes the poofyness of your hair. You have to be a little slick. The way I did it was change up the hair style a little bit. Only u know how your hair looked before the hair system. I really dont know the diff, because i have never seen any before and after pics, so its hard to give advice. I made my transition ok, even though my hair looked much fuller with the system then with the concealers. But after some time people forget, its only in the very early stages people might notice a difference. What I told to some people who noticed with me, I said i was using hair thickeners. But u can do other things. Lets say your hair was longish and combed forward. U can cut it short, and spike it up a little bit, You keep it more on the wettish side to not look like it is over dense. and instead of thinking wow whats that, they will just see a change of style. just have to use a little common sense i guess. If thats the right word.
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - JamesKennedy - 05-23-2009
People will believe a style change before they would think its a rug.
People think hairpieces are lifeless thick mops with a side part. If you style it and make it look normal, no one will suspect.
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Tapehead - 05-23-2009
Most likely 6 months from now none of this will matter and you won't care.
The main thing is whether or not you look good and are pulling off the illusion well... not so much whether people close to you know.
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - matthewmatthews - 05-23-2009
Hey, here are before and after shots of the hair, I'd love opinions as to what I can do to make it more believable. First one is the new one, followed by the old one. I had thought it was a subtle difference, but i'm being found out by friends already! 4 friends so far now! Had two more today.
I appreciate all the comments so far.
I just can't seem to get over this. I'm getting depressed. I'm terrified of seeing more friends... yet tomorrow night is a big party with everybody i know. Agh.
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - phoenix13 - 05-23-2009
I honestly cannot tell the difference....and of course your friends are going to mess around with you a bit...but I doubt they really know its a HS.
Mates tend to poke fun of anyone that goes through a fashion change or hairstyle change....thats all it is.... btw how does your hairline look at the front...is it invisible to the eye?
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - matthewmatthews - 05-23-2009
No, that's the real downer of this piece that I got... it's not invisible at all, you get this weird line all the way around, looks sort of dark. It was their thinnest thinskin that ever existed, but apparently that's not enough to get an invisible hairline...
Thanks for the encouragement man. Yeah, the difference was supposed to be quite slight. It felt good to have more density. More than anything, it's this hairline that I think gives it away. I don't have enough length the way we cut it, to cover that up. And the ventilation on the damn thing is kind of poofy, I can't get the hair to sit down and roll flatter over the hairline to really cover it up.
REALLY trying not to get discouraged by this whole mess.
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Goodluck - 05-23-2009
Reading your post made me feel like I was talking to myself, Trust me self Confidence functions like a protective cloud that protects you from nastiness of other people's miserable life. just remmember to style it right and make sure your attachment is almost perfect. IT's Oky and you will be just fine.
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - phoenix13 - 05-23-2009
Perhaps for your next order get a SFS lace front....I think its invisible to the eye if done right much more so than thinskin.
But YOu are going to have walk around with an air of confidence...if not then people will pick up your nervouness and examine you more to try and figure out whats wrong with you.
So be like an actor and act totallly calm and normal. If the Thinskin is showing a line all the way around...try some Dermablend cover creme its designed to cover serious skin flaws...but I bet if you get the right colour blend for your skin...it will hide the line...then dab some dermablend powder to set it...and you'll be fine
Re: The Psychology of Wearing - Sester - 05-23-2009
to be honest i think it looks fine from the pics. BUT, this is what I would have done.
1. gone all sfs for sure, no two ways about it
2. show hairline!! Ｉãâ¬â¬Ã¯Â¼Â«Ã¯Â¼Â®Ã¯Â¼Â¯Ã¯Â¼Â·Ã£â¬â¬you dont need to always show hairline to look natural and good, HOWEVER, you need a 'super illusion' especially for the ppl who know how u looked before, and showing hairline will make their minds wander even further from hairpiece or not. sfs will allow u have great hairlines exposed. IMHO i show alot of hairline, and as soon as i do a comb down style, it still looks natural however.. i personally feel it opens the door for super wig/not super wig thought by others.
3. about be confident in wearing, and i know its hard after the comments u got, but u need to realise these ppl have seen u with thinner hair...and imho you look good from the pics but the style does open the door to wig/not wig thought ONLY from ppl who knew how u looked before. This is my current wig, could look better but its good enough for my liking.
my 2 cents