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How would you respond to this statement?
08-06-2012, 07:04 PM,
#3
RE: How would you respond to this statement?
Comments & opinions from Parents & some relatives are not unbiased opinions.
They have emotions involved in their thinking & responses that have nothing to do with hairwearing itself.
It would be unlikely that you could get a true uncomplicated reaction from a parent. They have all sorts & cares and concerns mixed in with how they'll respond.
You might be desperate to become a sky diver and it could be the absolutely perfect, most life fulfilling thing you could ever do. But your mother wouldn't ever be able to see that & wish you well, because she'll be blinded by her love & fears etc. for you.
If you came home and showed her a new tattoo, she's not going to be able to stand back and admire the way it curls around your left nipple!
All she'll be thinking is "Oh god! What if it gets infected"!

This is a reaction to the idea or principal of something and not to the actual thing itself.

Its the reaction of strangers, friends and the people you come in to contact with daily that will be a better gauge.
But more importantly, its how it makes YOU feel that really matters.

Obviously I don't know your Mother, but I imagine she (like most women) does something to enhance her appearance every day.
Ask her to stop and to love herself for who she is.
This might help her to have some better empathy for you.

Also, you might need to help her understand how hair loss has made you feel.

In her defence, she hasn't had the thoughts & journey that you've had to reach the decision to wear hair.
Its just come out of the blue for her and she won't necessarily have understood your hairloss to have been a problem for you, so its even harder for her to see this as a solution.

EVERYONE has something about them they'd like to change or improve if they could.
Unfortunately not everyone can naturally translate that to someone else's situation.
Sometimes you have to remind people of the things they do & have said about themselves to get them to better understand what you're doing and why.

Its exactly because of those types of comments & reactions that I don't tell people I wear hair.
Its not because I'm ashamed or embarrassed.
Its because I don't feel inclined to justify myself to people who haven't (or won't) taken the time to truly understand.
You just know that they'll say something like "But bald men can be sexy" or "You should love yourself for who you are".
These are things that people just trot out of their mouths and have nothing to do with you as a person or an individual.
It tells you more about the person saying it, than it does about the person they're directed at.

Most people give advice & make comments based upon themselves and their knowledge, their feelings & their experience.
Its very rare to find people that can advise you by ignoring themselves and thinking what is actually the best thing for you.

So always put other people's comments in to perspective before letting them affect your feelings & decisions.
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RE: How would you respond to this statement? - Hersute - 08-06-2012, 07:04 PM

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